be here otherwise.”
“Fair enough. Did you recognize the pain behind your wife’s words?” She laces her fingers in her lap. “Even if you don’t remember everything exactly as she does, did you take the time to truly listen to the emotion buried beneath her anger?”
I shrug.
“Words are our most valuable weapon. In times of anger or intense pain we have a tendency to wield them like a sword in an attempt to disguise our emotions. Emotions we’re at times afraid or possibly even ashamed to feel. Our truth lies somewhere between these words expressed in anger and the hurt one’s trying to bury. This is why communication in a relationship is paramount. It’s going to take honesty, bravery, and loads of grace to repair the damage between you two. But in just the short while we’ve spent together, even I, a complete stranger, can feel that this is far from over.” With misty eyes she takes one of each of our hands into hers. “So…homework, Mr. Watts. You love this woman, would that be a correct assumption?”
“I do.” I’ve said those two words quite a lot in the last week.
“And you are fully committed to making amends?”
“I am.”
“I’m not going to go as far as to tell you not to listen to what your wife says, because that would be a one-way ticket straight to divorce court, and that is the opposite of what we are trying to achieve.” She laughs. “I want you,” she says, looking at me before turning to Nya, who thinks she’s getting off the hook, “and you as well, to dig deeper. Look beyond what your head is telling you and try listening and acting with your hearts. You may be surprised where they lead you.”
Nya
Body Shots
“Well, I’m feeling pretty good about how that went.” Liam grins at me from across the booth, unfolding his cloth napkin and draping it over his lap. “How ‘bout you?” He passes the other set of wrapped silverware my way.
Is the man completely clueless? My emotions are still running amuck. That’s how I’m feeling. I don’t know why he insisted on a lunch date following that disastrous therapy appointment. Or why I agreed. All I wanted was to get as far away from him as possible and regain control of my wits. It’s what I still want. Feigning nonchalance, I shrug a shoulder. “I don’t see the point in dredging up the past.” I fold my arms in front of me on the table. “Seems counterproductive.”
“The only way past all this shit is to wade through it.”
Well aren’t we philosophical? One therapy appointment and the man thinks he’s Dr. Phil.
Our waiter arrives just in time to prevent me from having to respond. We order our drinks and a loaded nacho with peppers to share. I guess it’s too much to hope for a change of subject once he walks away. This man is relentless.
“It killed me to see you upset like that.” Liam’s hand stretches across the table, covering mine. His eyes hold such sincere regret I have to look away to keep from physically reacting. “I will never forgive myself for hurting you that way. For being so completely blind to it.” He shakes his head to himself. “By the time I realized what was happening, it was already too late.”
I yank my hand away, unrolling my silverware and laying it out before me. Then, I flatten the paper napkin on the tabletop, ripping at the corner. “Yes, well, our marriage didn’t fall apart over night.” I hate how bitter I sound. It’s been ten damn years. I should be over this by now. But he acts like I didn’t even try. Like everything just came out of the blue. Could he really have been so clueless?
“Didn’t it?” His eyes are suddenly accusing. That has my hackles rising. “I get that the baptism was a big deal, but enough to throw our entire marriage away? I just wish we’d have tried harder.” By we, he most definitely means me.
I’m seconds away from snapping. He did well to bring me to a public place for this conversation. My husband is nothing if not smart. Which makes this conversation all the more painful. “That was only the final straw.”
“If you’d have communicated to me how badly you needed me home more to help with the baby instead of expecting me to figure it out…” He blows out a long repentant sigh. “I just wish I’d known. That’s all I’m saying.”
Oh,