That's not a relationship."
I leaned my cheek against the seat.
"Not one I want anyway."
"Eva."
He exhaled harshly.
"My silence is the lesser of two evils.
I feel like whether I explain or not, I'll drive you away, but explaining carries the greatest risk.
You think you want to know, but if I tell you, you'll regret it.
Trust me when I say there are some aspects of me you don't want to see."
"You have to give me something to work with."
I set my hand on his thigh and felt the muscle bunch, then twitch in response to my touch.
"I've got nothing right now.
I'm empty."
He set his hand over mine.
"You trust me.
Despite what you see to the contrary, you've come to trust in what you know.
That's huge, Eva.
For both of us.
For us, period."
"There is no us."
"Stop saying that."
"You wanted my blind trust and you have it, but that's all I can give you.
You've shared so little of yourself and I've lived with it because I had you.
And now I don't - " "You have me," he protested.
"Not the way I need you."
I lifted one shoulder in an awkward shrug.
"You've given me your body and I've been greedy with it, because that's the only way you're really open to me.
And now I don't have that, and when I look at what I do have, it's just promises.
It's not enough for me.
In the absence of you, all I have are a pile of things you won't tell me."