thought either. I saw two dudes making out at a party once and wondered what it might be like, but it never went further for me than that thought.”
“How did it happen with Dallas?”
“We were smoking some of Spumoni's good stuff, and he just sort of leaned in and made the first move. I had no idea what he was about to do, so I went with it,” I confessed, “but it was me who made the second move.”
“Are you freaking out?” Dagger asked.
“Kind of, and I'm not sure why,” I revealed. “I mean, it was a couple of kisses. No big deal, right?”
“For a guy who, up until a few minutes ago, thought he was one-hundred percent straight, yeah, I'd say it's a big fucking deal, Fletch. I'm glad you decided to talk to me about it, though.”
“Did you always know you were gay?” I asked.
“I think even before I knew what straight and gay meant, I already knew girls weren't my thing,” Dagger admitted. “I just didn't know that my being attracted to boys had a name. To me, it was just one of many things about me. I loved spaghetti and meatballs, and I loved looking at cute boys.”
“I guess you were lucky you had it figured out so young,” I said.
“My luck was short-lived,” he said. “As soon as I figured out what liking boys meant, my parents had figured it out, too, and they didn't want a gay son.”
“That sucks,” I answered. “My parents have pretty much already disowned me, so I think it's safe to say they won't care that I kissed a dude.”
“Did you … like kissing Dallas?”
“Fuck, I did,” I said almost as a sigh. “It felt so good I thought my head was going to blow apart. Am I crazy? It kind of feels like I'm losing my mind.”
Dagger started to chuckle like he knew the inside joke to this, and I didn't. “What about the girls you've been with? Did they make your head feel like it was going to explode?”
“Nothing like that,” I confessed.
“Do you want to do it again?” Dagger asked.
I spent about three seconds considering his question before I answered. “Yeah, I think I'd really like to see if it was the pot that made it feel so different, or if it was Dallas himself doing it to me.”
“Want my advice?” Dagger asked.
“That's why I brought it up,” I said and saw a car slowly pulling up to the curb in front of the rehearsal warehouse.
“My suggestion is to explore this with Dallas and see where it goes and how you feel about it,” Dagger said. “Now is the time in your life to have fun with sex and find out what you like and what you don't. I'm sure Dallas would be down for any kind of experimentation you throw at him. I’d already known he was bi, so this wouldn't be exploring for him in the way it would be for you, but have fun with it.”
“It sounds like I'd be using him,” I commented.
“You like him, right?” Dagger questioned.
“Yeah, of course. We've been hanging out almost daily during my breaks and sometimes after I finish practicing for the day,” I explained.
“If that's the case, then I don't see how this would be you using him,” Dagger said. “You've already established a friendship. This would just an extension of it.”
“I don't want to push anything,” I said. “I'll see how things naturally go from here.”
“That's cool,” Dagger replied. “Listen, I got Chaos a gig on Friday night at the Apex Club downtown. The act they’d booked had to pull out because two of the four guys in the band were in a car accident and are pretty banged up. I think it would be an excellent opportunity for the band to test out their new stage presence. How do you feel about that?”
“This coming up Friday night—like in three days?” I asked.
“Four days, but that'd be the right Friday,” Dagger said and chuckled. “If you're busy, you'll need to make yourself un-busy because your band needs to do this gig.”
“Yeah, yeah, of course,” I agreed. “I'm just a little shellshocked, I guess.”
“Over what?” Dagger asked. “Didn't Spumoni's weed calm your nerves?”
I leaned against the brick wall of the warehouse. “This still seems so fucking surreal to me,” I admitted. “I always hoped one day to be at this level of playing, but to have it fall into our laps like this is intense.”
“Nothing fell into