it, but James didn’t have to follow through. He could have walked away with at least his dignity intact. Now he truly did have nothing.
He keyed the fifth message. Only soft music played in the background. Ah, so Travis must have been home then. The anguished tones from the last message were now replaced by something James couldn’t identify. “I found your heavy jacket in the car. It’s cold out tonight, but you’re probably warm and don’t need it.” After a moment of quiet, Travis simply said, “Bye,” and hung up.
The call came in just after midnight.
Once Alex had recovered he’d ordered James on his knees, taking him from behind. There were no kisses or caresses this time, just hard, brutal sex. Alex slammed into him again and again, never taking James in hand or seeming to care if he was enjoying himself at all. When Alex finally grunted out his completion, he flopped onto his side on the bed, removing the condom and tossing it into the trash. He mumbled something but James couldn’t make it out, having himself collapsed into an exhausted heap at that precise moment.
James lay quietly, longing for Alex to at least hold him through the afterglow, as Travis would have. After a few moments he gave up wishing and let sleep drag him under.
Two more messages to go. James almost didn’t play them, knowing that once he did, it truly would be over between him and the only man he’d ever loved. Why, oh, why had he fucked it up? If his sister was there she’d be overanalyzing it, picking every minute detail apart and saying things like, “Well, maybe you just aren’t ready to be in a committed relationship.”
I am ready! he angrily retorted to the know-it-all who was over two hundred miles away.
A deep seated need to see this through, and to torture himself with his folly, caused him to play the sixth message. Travis began with, “It’s cold outside and Danny says that Alex guy always kicks guys to the curb after he fucks them.” Quiet ensued. Finally, when James was about to check to see if the message had ended, it started again. “I don’t like thinking of you out there and cold without your jacket. You left your wallet in the car and I still have your driver’s license.” James listened to the sound of Travis breathing for one long moment. The words were pained and strained when his former love finally said, “Please call me. I’m getting worried.” The call ended.
Hot tears rolled down James’ face. How could he have been so stupid? And how could he call and face Travis now? As the tears dripped from his chin, he watched as they made dark spots on his jeans where they fell. But… there were too many of them. That’s when he noticed that it was raining.
About a quarter mile away was the overpass, so he wrapped his thin jacket around himself and made a mad dash, coming to a stop under the bridge just as the heavens opened up.
He checked his phone. The time of the sixth call was, ironically, six am. So Travis must just be getting up for work. It was six am when…
In his dreams James rested his head on his lover’s chest, the steady heartbeat and warm arms surrounding him making him feel comfortable and secure.
A firm hand grasped his shoulder, shaking him from sleep. “Hey, time to get up.”
That wasn’t Travis! James peeled open sleepy eyes and gazed up in confusion, sorrow filling him when the events of the last few hours came back in a tidal wave of disappointment. No, it wasn’t Travis, and it never would be again. His own stupidity had seen to that.
“Wha...?” he asked, fighting off the remnants of sleep.
“You need to go,” Alex said.
“Why? I thought we could do it again,” James said, stalling to postpone the inevitable. His stomach growled and he recalled how long ago it had been since he’d eaten, and the fact that he didn’t even have his billfold. Maybe Alex would at least take him to breakfast.
“That’s not possible; I have a plane to catch. Get dressed and let yourself out.”
He hadn’t expected a lifetime commitment, but still. “You’re kicking me out?”
How had he ever thought this man gorgeous? In the clear light of dawn Alex appeared so hard, so cold. Especially while hearing spouting the words, “No, I’m telling you to leave. I have to pack and get to the