something awful and then bounce back like nothing happened? That would never be me, and I hated it.
Time didn’t matter as I sat there in the shower, lost in my internal sorrow. However, when the hot water began to feel not so hot, I knew it was time for me to get out. Get out, dry myself off, throw my clothes back on, and go the fuck to bed. Let this stupid, horrible day be over with already.
Mmm. I kind of felt that way about my life, but suicide was never an option. I might be miserable, but I didn’t want things to just end. There was nothing I feared more than the nothingness that surely came after this.
Heaving a trembling sigh, I turned off the water and got out. The mirror was fogged up, but I didn’t need to see my face to know it was puffy, that my eyes were rimmed in red. I was no longer crying, but to anyone who saw me, it’d be more than obvious. Mom and Dad were in bed by now, which was good—and I bet Michelle had left sometime during my shower.
I’d be as alone as I could possibly be.
I turned off the bathroom light before stepping out. Didn’t do a very good job at drying myself before throwing on my clothes—they stuck to me in places they shouldn’t, but I didn’t care. The hall was quiet and empty, as dark as a hall could be in the early night. Not a sound came from my parents’ room further down the hall, and I stood there, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness before I walked.
Instead of going to my room and throwing myself onto my bed, I decided to head downstairs into the kitchen, to get some water. My head was already starting to hurt from all of my crying, and truly, there was nothing worse than a pounding brain inside your skull.
All the lights in the kitchen stayed off, the house eerily silent until I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it up with the faucet. Once the water was off, I took a long swig from the glass. A window sat just above the sink, and I stared out of it. From it, you could see the side of our yard, and a bit further away, our neighbor’s house.
This was my life. I had to suck it up. Pretend to smile and be happy, at least make everyone else happy. Who cared if I wasn’t?
While I was lost in my head, car lights flashed in the windows in the front of the house, like someone was pulling up. I left my place near the sink, my fingers hardening their hold on the glass as I went to the living room to peer out.
A car sat in the driveway, and through the moonlight, I recognized it. What the hell was Mason doing here?
My heart skipped a beat in my chest, and I glanced up the stairs, hearing not a peep from my parents. Before I thought better of it, I unlocked the front door and went out, still holding onto that glass, still a mess from my emotional shower. I hadn’t even brushed my hair afterward. If anyone looked like a ragamuffin, it was me, in that moment.
The porch creaked under my bare feet, and I shivered in the nighttime air. I didn’t put on a jacket, and I was dripping wet. Not the best way to step out into a late fall night.
Mason turned his car off before getting out, and I watched, my eyebrows furrowing, as he came up to me, looking just as cute as ever—only a hell of a lot more concerned. For me? His brown hair was almost black under the moonlight, his dark eyes even darker as he studied me. “Bree, are you alright? What’s going on?”
I ignored his questions, instead asking my own, “What are you doing here?” I was thankful for the night air, because at least it helped to hide my puffy face.
He moved to stand less than two feet in front of me, at the base of the porch. “Your sister texted me on your phone, saying you needed me.”
My phone? Ugh, Michelle must’ve turned it on and talked to Mason while I was in the shower, before she hightailed it and went out with Kyle. Great. This was just what I did not need.
“I don’t,” I whispered, my voice shaking.
Mason didn’t take the hint, didn’t turn