amazing. Made you feel all light and giddy, like you could just float up into the sky, you were so weightless.
I shouldn’t think about it. I should stop right now, and cut that memory and experience from my mind. Thinking about it would only make me want to kiss him more, which would only make the feelings inside of me real.
They couldn’t be real. Calum and I would never work.
“What are you thinking about?” Calum’s voice broke the silence of our walk. We now stood beside the lakeshore, its calm surface reflecting the moon’s light above. The area was a beautiful park; I was surprised it wasn’t busier.
I said nothing, which caused him to stop walking and squeeze my hand harder. “I don’t want to say,” I whispered, feeling the need to shut down. If only I was home right now, if I was under the covers…
Calum would not let it go. “Why?” When I said nothing, he went on, “I’m not going to drop this, Bree. If there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that I’m stubborn.” So he wasn’t a liar, and he was stubborn. Two things I shouldn’t know about Kyle’s brother that I did now…along with how soft and gentle his lips felt like on mine.
Ugh, I guess I should just tell him, that way he could shut up about it.
“I wish I wouldn’t have let you kiss me,” I muttered quietly, frowning to myself. The kiss was nice, yes. The kiss was amazing and something that I’d never forget, but that was the problem. I’d never forget it, and Calum would go on, live his life, completely forgetting about little old me. No one ever spent the time to remember me.
That must’ve not been what he was expecting. “Why?”
“Because,” I said, practically shaking—something he surely could feel through our hand-holding, “you’re just going to leave, anyway. This isn’t…I don’t kiss people and then never see them again. That’s not me.” It had to be something he’d thought about. Twenty years without a kiss, and then to have my first taken by Calum, a man who wouldn’t stick around…could I be more stupid?
Plus, the guy just got out of a relationship. Even if he was sticking around, I knew enough to know I’d only be his rebound.
He said nothing, only staring at me, which prompted me to add, “And you just got out of a relationship. I’m not a girl you can hook up with and leave.” Just saying those words hurt; my throat felt dry, like I’d just coughed up a few knives as I spoke. “Who knows? You might go back home and find that your ex wants you back—” This was a lot to unload on a second date.
Hence the many, many reasons why I simply did not date.
“My ex cheated on me with my best friend, so I don’t think I’ll be taking her back, ever,” Calum told me flat-out, and the ugly truth of it made me freeze and look at him. He wasn’t lying; I could tell by the way his brows furrowed, his lips frowned, and his hand squeezed mine even harder. So hard it almost hurt, but not quite. “So yes, I am a newly-single man, and I am well aware that you’re not someone to hook up with and dump. I wouldn’t do that to you, and I’d never hear the end of it from Kyle.”
That much was true, I knew. Michelle would rant to Kyle, pretty much force Kyle to be a dick about it to Calum.
“I know I’m not going to be here forever,” he went on, “I know I live a few hours away.” The tight way he held onto my hand finally softened, and his thumb ran over my knuckles as he was lost in thought. “I always said I could never do a long-distance relationship.”
I closed my eyes, having expected him to say something like that. This, whatever it was, was dead in the water from the very beginning. That much shouldn’t surprise me.
My eyes opened when I felt a tug on my hand, when I was drawn into a wide, strong chest. Calum hugged me, leaned his cheek atop my head as he stared out at the lake and the glimmering reflection on its surface. He was warm. So very warm. All I wanted to do was lose myself in that warmth and stop my mind from overthinking everything.
“Call me weird,” Calum murmured, “but there’s something about you, Bree,