only something truly horrible would cause this. He smoothed his hand over her hair. Why hadn’t he gone to the house the minute he’d arrived back at Belville Park?
Because you were too busy pouting. Taking all his indignant ire out on the soil bed. Holding on to his smarting anger as a shield against the resurrection of his childhood pain.
But any and all thoughts of his own turmoil slid away in the face of Jenessa’s hurt. The worry tormented him but he waited, holding his questions at bay as he let her cry. Finally, when her trembling began to slow, he leaned back just enough to be able to see her face.
“The kids? Are they gone already?”
She shook her head, and the immediate impact of his relief surprised him. He’d known he would hurt on Jenessa’s behalf whenever her guardianship of the Hollis children ended. He’d known he’d feel the sting too.
But the fierce, protective affection he felt for Colie, Violet, and Cade in this moment was enough to knock the wind from him.
“But they found Dustin Hollis.” Jenessa’s voice was hoarse. “He’s on some fishing boat off the coast of Alaska until Wednesday. But Carmen expects he’ll come to town when he gets the news.”
And then what? The guy would show up in Maple Valley and Jen would be forced to hand the kids over?
Another unwelcome father stepping in where he isn’t wanted.
He squelched the bitter thought before it could show on his face. At least, he hoped he did. “But that doesn’t necessarily mean the kids will automatically go to him, does it?”
“He’s their dad, Lucas.” She leaned her head against him once more. “I said something I shouldn’t have to Colie. She wanted me to promise that I wouldn’t let him take her. I didn’t exactly promise, but still.”
He felt her take a ragged breath. “And in the midst of a thousand other emotions, I’ve been feeling guilty. I don’t know much about Dustin Hollis at all but I’ve let myself spend two weeks assuming the worst of him. Worse, I’ve hoped the worst of him. That’s not right—I know it’s not.”
He was so tempted to counter that. To tell her sometimes men were exactly as flawed and faulty as she might think.
As he’d thought.
And yet, hadn’t he been plagued by the same murmurs of guilt all afternoon? Maybe not as strongly as Jenessa, but he’d heard the soft voice at the back of his mind. Reminding him of his own mistakes and how just this morning he’d basked in the thought that Jen, that God, could see and accept, forgive and love all of him.
Shouldn’t he be able to offer his father the same?
It’s different. I’ve spent a decade trying to make up for deserting the Army. What has Dad done?
Maybe he was trying to do something now in coming to Maple Valley.
Well, Lucas wasn’t ready for it. Beckett was right. He needed space. More space than a few hours and miles.
“So the guy’s on a boat until Wednesday,” he said. “Which probably means the soonest he’d be here is Thursday.”
Jenessa nodded against his chest, her hands clinging to his shirt. “That’s what Carmen thinks anyway.”
“And the kids don’t have school Wednesday, right?”
She looked up. “Teacher in-service day. You have their schedule memorized?”
She wasn’t smiling and yet, he latched on to the first hint of light he’d seen in her eyes today. “Saw the school calendar hanging on your fridge.” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Let’s do something fun with them. Go out of town. Hmm, amusement parks are mostly closed by now, and they’ve already been out to the orchard multiple times, so the usual fall activities have been covered. Maybe we could find an indoor waterpark or something.”
“One last hurrah?”
“Maybe it won’t be the last.” This must’ve been how she felt trying to comfort Colie, desperate to offer some semblance of hope.
“I should get back inside. All the kids are sleeping, but who knows when they’ll wake up.” She lifted onto her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “I like the idea, though. It’s a plan.”
“And a date.” He winked just to make her smile.
17
There’d been a time when Lucas might’ve been bothered by the stares of strangers at the scars on his arms. But how could he bring himself to care with Violet’s giggles echoing off the walls of the hotel’s indoor pool?
Or the almost timid way Colie looked at him while she climbed up the ladder to the water