been to tug off her cardigan before he’d nodded off.
But she had no logic today. No focus. No hope of getting a single paragraph written let alone a whole article.
Not after last night. Lucas had kissed her. And at some point, she’d gotten over her complete shock and utter awe long enough to kiss him back.
Except no, she wasn’t even close to over the surprise of it. Or the absolute perfection. Ten hours later and she could still feel its molten impact. It was as if every sense, every other thought in her mind and her heart, had melted down to one, heady, emotion-filled notion: Lucas.
But then Violet had come downstairs and responsibility had ripped her away. By the time she’d gotten Violet tucked in a second time, Lucas had disappeared, though he’d apparently had the presence of mind to douse the flames in the fireplace before returning to the cottage.
And she’d spent the remainder of her restless night swaying back and forth between reliving every millisecond of those moments in the kitchen and wondering whether Lucas was doing the same. Worrying that he regretted it.
Wishing she had the nerve to march out into the cottage in the middle of the night and demand to know what was happening between them.
But she knew Lucas. It couldn’t have been easy for him to talk about his past the way he had last night. He might need space, time to process.
So she’d settled instead for starting a dozen texts to him . . . and deleting all of them. Until finally, in desperation, she’d sent Mara an SOS ten minutes ago.
Mara, I need you. Are you free? I’m at the office. It’s an EMERGENCY.
Her friend appeared in her office door now, and Jenessa had to swallow her gasp to keep from waking Cade. “Are you wearing a wedding dress?” She whispered the question.
“Yes. You know why? Because there I was standing in front of a full-length mirror at Betty’s Bridal and my phone dinged and I looked down and the first thing I saw was ‘emergency’ in all-caps.” Mara hissed her exasperation. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Not steal a wedding gown.”
“I didn’t steal it. Betty saw my face go white and told me to go. I thought something had happened with one of the kids. But no, here you are looking easy as you please, cuddling a sleeping baby.”
Jenessa rose and gently laid Cade in the portable crib. “I only look like I’m at ease. Inside I’m freaking out. Completely, totally, and—” She turned back to Mara, gaze sweeping over the ivory gown with its pearl beading, lace elbow-length sleeves, and simple but elegant lines. She took hold of Mara’s hand and towed her from the office into the newsroom. “Is this the one?”
Everything in Mara seemed to soften—her eyes, her smile, her voice. “I think it is.”
“It’s . . .” Jenessa walked a circle around Mara.
“Beautiful,” Paige filled in. She rose from her desk in the corner of the office. “I love how understated it is. Not really a tulle girl myself.” She slung a camera bag over her shoulder and pointed her attention to Jenessa. “I assumed you’d want me at the county supervisors meeting considering you’ve got Cade here.”
Again. Surely that was the unspoken ending to Paige’s sentence. It had to be getting old to her—Jenessa’s off-and-on presence at the office, baby in tow more often than not. If not for Paige, there was no chance this week’s issue of the News would’ve come out on schedule today.
At some point, Jenessa had to figure out a better way to balance her responsibilities at the newspaper with her role as a temporary guardian. But Carmen’s visit yesterday had driven home even more than before the real and harsh reality that the kids wouldn’t be with her long-term. The thought of sending Cade to daycare or staying at the office when Colie and Violet were home from school felt like such a loss considering their short time together.
Or maybe it won’t be that short. Maybe Dustin Hollis won’t turn up. Maybe . . .
Maybe what? Maybe she’d keep the kids forever? Is that what she wanted?
Without warning, without reason, a picture flashed in her mind. Thanksgiving or perhaps Christmas morning. A lit fireplace. A warm house—Belville Park. Three kids in pajamas. And Jen with them and . . .
No, you can’t put Lucas in that picture. Not . . . yet. She shouldn’t even let herself imagine the kids with