lips touched hers, she knew he had a point. A really, really good point. In fact, if he wanted to go on making his point indefinitely . . .
He pulled the barest breath away. “I’ve missed this,” he whispered. “I’ve missed you. Ever since the kids left . . .”
She touched his stubbled cheek. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been overly emotional and mopey and—”
“No.” She felt his jaw move under her hand. “You have every right to hurt. The depth of your feelings is one of the things I love most about you.”
Love. It was the first time he’d used the word, but somehow she knew it wasn’t the first time he’d thought it. He didn’t stumble over it or even seem to realize he’d said it.
He loved her. He’d shown it in a thousand different ways.
And she returned that love with an intensity that scared her. Mara had told her she should tell him and if ever there were a perfect moment . . .
But those weren’t the words that came out. “Noah came to see me.”
Lucas took a breath, one hand sliding from her back to her waist. “I know.”
He knew? “So he told you he talked to me about your dad? Some appeal or review board or something? He said there’s a hearing and maybe your discharge could get changed and—”
“Do we have to talk about this now?”
She removed her palm from his cheek to join the other at his chest. “I know how much your record bothers you. When Carmen mentioned it the other night—”
He took a step back and her hands slipped away from him. “Yeah. Carmen.”
“I hate how she dredged all that up but—”
“But she had a point.” Regret shown in his eyes. “Jen, if there’s even the tiniest chance that things don’t work out with Dustin, that those kids could have the opportunity to come back here . . . I’m a complication.”
She shook her head so vehemently she felt her ponytail loosen. “That’s not true. If Carmen knew the whole story, if she knew you . . .” A thought hit. “Or if you go along with your dad and get that dishonorable off your record—”
“So you want me to go to D.C.?”
“I don’t want you to go anywhere. But what if it could change everything?”
He turned away, raking his fingers through his hair. “Jen, if I go to that hearing, I’m going to have to relive Tashfeen’s death and how I spent the next two years all over again. Everyone wonders why I didn’t defend myself at the court-martial. It’s because I have no defense. I deserve the punishment I received.”
“But everything you’ve done since then, everything you’ve sacrificed—”
“What did I sacrifice? What did I give up to join Bridgewell? I had nothing at that point. Kit was in London, Dad wanted nothing to do with me. I had no purpose, no direction. Bridgewell saved me.” He turned back to her and the pain in his eyes—a dull shade not even the moonlight could brighten—nearly undid her. “And what’s that review board going to say when I admit I might be quitting Bridgewell now?”
Might be? Oh, why did those have to be the two words that rang so loudly?
“You’re right,” she whispered. “We shouldn’t be talking about this now. Can you show me more of the garden?”
It was the cowardly way out of a conversation she wished she’d never begun. And for a moment, she thought he might refuse. She braced herself for whatever heartbreak might come next.
But he only reached out to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear, a regret she wished she didn’t see in his soft gaze. “Come see how the fountain works.”
20
“Oh, my stars, Jenessa Belville. Your mother would be so proud.”
Mayor Milt’s boisterous words carried across the garden, drawing Jenessa’s gaze from the cottage. Why hadn’t Lucas joined the gala yet? Wasn’t as if he had far to travel.
A cozy warmth permeated the grounds of Belville Park thanks to the half-dozen heaters set up around the space, and a beautiful, burning sunset created the perfect backdrop to this night that should’ve had her awash with energetic anticipation.
Instead, her every cheery smile and round of small talk was hobbled and artificial.
“Mr. Mayor, so good to see you. And I really can’t take credit for any of this. Lucas and his friend Noah did all the yard work and landscaping. Leigh Pierce and her committee handled all the actual event coordination.” She tugged the