simply because she never has been.
“If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t send me away. You would keep me close to protect me. But it’s easier for you to take me from one prison to another, just because you’re afraid of everything!”
“I know what is best for you.”
“You just want to get rid of me!” I scream.
“I’m not going to argue with you over this,” Dad says in a dismissive way. He doesn’t even deny my accusation.
I grit my teeth with the sudden urge for violence. I want to hit, scream, and break things, but, most importantly, I want all my frustration to channel into something I can control. Something I can understand. Year after year of being invisible to my own family, being protected from something I don’t even know or understand, being a prisoner in this picture-perfect life that has only ever felt like a burden too overwhelming to carry, I feel like I’m suffocating. I want all these feelings to turn into pain, physical pain, so I can focus on it and cry. I want to cry to let it all go. To release my frustration, my hatred, my hurt...
As I storm up the stairs to my room, I keep pulling my hair. The slight burn on my scalp gives me the release I need to calm down.
But when I enter my room, my breath hitches in my throat.
Chapter Ten
Luca
“Luca,” Ramona breathes out when she sees me sitting in her armchair. The reading light next to the chair gives a soft glow to the room, illuminating her slender frame like warm sunlight.
She slowly walks toward me, almost tentatively, shaking like a doe. When she stands right in front of me, waiting, I uncross my legs and place my feet on either side of hers.
She doesn’t ask why I’m here. She just stands there, watching me watch her.
“Can I do what I want? For once?” Her voice is so vulnerable. The desperation in it speaks to my soul, to a deeper part of me I’ve never felt before. And before I can make a scheme to coax her into what I want from her, I find myself nodding, giving her permission.
I don’t know what I expected when she asked me that question. I don’t know what I thought she would do or what I thought she would want, but I didn’t think she could do anything to surprise me.
I was wrong.
I sit straighter when she peels her dress from her body.
I feel the twitch in my cock when the tits, I’ve only fantasized about, are exposed to my eyes.
I lick my lips when she moves the flimsy fabric of her panties down her legs.
When she leans down to take them off, her face comes dangerously close to my already hard cock. When she doesn’t lift herself up fast enough, I have to use all my willpower not to hold her where she is and free my cock to push through those plump lips of hers.
When she finally stands again, gloriously naked with the light dancing over her skin with every breath she takes, I drink her in. Her beauty is something to either be damned or cherished.
And then when she balances herself on my thighs to kneel between my legs and reaches for the belt on my slacks, I decide I’ll do both.
I’ll cherish and abuse her body until we’re both damned.
Chapter Eleven
Ramona
I feel his eyes on me as I unbuckle his belt. My hands shake, but I don’t know if it’s from nerves or excitement. Probably both.
He’s completely silent when I push down his zipper. When my fingers touch the hardness over the fabric of his underwear, I hear the hitch in his breath.
Licking my lips, I close my eyes for a second. I want to do this. I want to follow through with what I started. With the sound of his shallow breathing, I reach inside his boxer briefs, as he lifts himself to give me access to him.
When I reveal his length to my eyes, realization finally hits me.
I’m naked, and for the first time in my life, I’m face-to-face with a man’s cock.
I have no clue what came over me.
I remember the anger, the frustration and the helplessness I felt when my dad talked to me like I had no right over my own life. Like I’m just an accessory they place wherever suits them. And I just wanted to feel a sense of control. To do something I didn’t have to ask