be messy and have so many consequences, but in the moment it would be deeply gratifying.
And I already know that I would be satisfied. I seem to remember that Grayson is hung like a horse. My mouth waters, just thinking about it.
Two, I take care of my own needs. It seems way less appealing, but it wouldn’t leave strings to be cut later.
I sigh. Obviously I’ll have to do the latter, but the former is just so damned appealing. Pushing the tiny sleep shorts down to my knees, I let my eyes sink closed and summon the image of Grayson.
In my mind, he’s hovering over me, undressing me in a hurry. His blue eyes are full of desire, his hands trembling with need. He bows before me, kissing a spot just under my navel.
My fingers find my clit. I’m already soaking wet, my clit blossoming under my fingertips as I begin to stroke myself.
In my mind, though, it’s Grayson parting my thighs. Burying his face between my legs. Making me groan.
“Grayson,” I call out hungrily. God, I’m ready to come just thinking about him.
There is a knock on my door. My eyes fly open. I freeze, my fingers soaked with my own juices.
“Rachel? Did you call for me?” Grayson asks.
Oh fuck. I rip my hands away from between my thighs and yank my shorts up.
“Uhh…” I call. Looking for somewhere to wipe my fingers, I settle on the sleeping bag beneath me. “Just a second.”
I bounce up to my feet, crossing the tiny cabin. Pulling open the door, I reveal Grayson, looking as brooding as ever. His forehead is wrinkled with concern.
“Are you okay?” he asks, cocking his head. “You look a little flushed.”
His comment makes me blush more. “Umm. Yeah. I’m fine. What are you doing by my cabin in the middle of the night?”
“It’s going to rain. I was moving inside for a few hours.” He shrugs. “Besides, it’s not that late. It’s only eleven p.m.”
Looking at the sky behind his head, I see that thunderclouds are in fact gathering.
“I see.” For an awkward moment, I don't know what I’m supposed to do. Then I step back, waving a hand. “Want some company? I won’t bite.”
Grayson looks at me, hesitating for a heartbeat. Then he blows out a breath. “Yeah, sure.”
He wedges his large frame by me, careful not to touch me. He casts his gaze around the small space, shrugging and then sitting down in the exact space I was just occupying not two minutes ago. Blushing furiously, I sit beside him, refusing to think about what I was doing just a few minutes earlier.
I pull my legs up, sitting cross-legged. He lounges beside me, dwarfing me. I shoot him a humorless smile.
We need a nice neutral topic to discuss. Nothing sad and absolutely nothing racy.
“So… do you usually come inside whenever it rains?”
He nods. “Yep.”
Very helpful. “What got you started sleeping outside?”
He exhales. “I can’t stand to be inside for too long anymore. It makes me… I don’t know, itchy and anxious I guess.”
My brow furrows. “Really? You weren’t always like that.”
He scratches his chin. “It’s got to do with the war.”
“Oh.” I am not quite sure what to say to that, honestly. It feels strange, trying to pull these answers from him. I can feel Grayson’s gaze on me, looking at me critically. What he says takes my breath away.
“I missed you,” he says softly. I meet his gaze, surprised, but he just continues. “Out here, under all the stars, I thought about you all the time. I thought that it would go away eventually, the missing you. But it never did.”
He rasps the last bit. I look up at him, my eyes starting to fill with my tears. I want to scream at him. I want to beg him for answers.
Why, if he missed me so badly, did he keep his distance?
But I don't do any of that. Instead I just let my head drop.
What good will answers do me at this point?
He surprises me again by brushing some strands of my hair back behind my ear. When he speaks, it’s barely a whisper.
“I dreamed of you. Of your blonde hair. And your smile…” He moves his hand to touch the place where my jaw meets my neck. I suck in breath and stare into his eyes.
A smile plays across his lips for a second. “I’m sorry. You do know that, don't you?”
I push myself forward, kissing him fully on the mouth. He freezes