your mother will not be with us for much longer. I would say perhaps a day, maybe less.”
Eve immediately bursts into tears, burying her head against my shoulder. I tear up too, but I force myself to control it, putting my arm around my sister.
But inside, I’m awash with sickness. I’m nauseated at the thought that I’m going to have to sit here and do nothing while my mother dies.
“Thank you,” I say, bowing my head briefly.
Eve sobs as she leans against me. And I just hold her up, my stomach roiling.
“I should call Dad,” I say, but I make no attempt to move.
She sniffles, sucking in a breath. “I can’t believe we’re going to have to call him back to his dying wife’s bedside.”
Dr. Erslinger clears her throat. “Mrs. Moreland would like to see you, Aiden.”
I feel like I’m made of lead. “Me? Alone?”
Dr. Erslinger gives me a look that’s conciliatory. “Yes. Eve, I was wondering if you would come down to the nurse’s station with me just to go over some details? It’ll only take a minute.”
“No,” Eve says, shaking her head. “Whatever Mom has to say, she can tell both of us.”
I give her an odd look. “I think Mom can ask for whatever she wants today, Eve.”
Eve doesn’t respond right away. Then she actually hits me, curls up her fist and drives it into my arm. “Fuck you, Aiden. She always did like you better. I would think that you would try to show me some compassion right now.”
My jaw clenches. Does my sister not remember that my mom’s death affects me too? I breathe out slowly. “Go with the doctor, Evie.”
Eve and I stare each other down for a second, then she sniffs and unwinds herself from me. She stands up. “Sure.”
As Eve and the doctors drift off down the hall, I stare at my mom’s door. Getting up, I go over to the heavy wooden door, knocking on it gently. I open the door and see my mom there on the bed, propped up by a mountain of pillows. The sun is shining and the blinds are pulled back from the windows.
It’s almost distracting enough that I don’t notice that my mother has a dozen tubes and IV drips running down to her fragile arms. She’s looking severely jaundiced, worse than she was this morning even.
“Mom?”
She blinks, opening her eyes. She reaches up and touches her purple head wrap. “Aiden, yes. Come here, please. And shut the door behind you.”
Like a robot, I do as she says. I’m aware that I haven’t been alone with her in a couple of years, especially not while she’s been in the hospital. I feel like I’m totally out of my depth here.
I also feel like a shitty son for not visiting Mom more. It’s weird to focus on myself when my mom is dying though so I just cram it down inside and try to compartmentalize it. Coming over to her bedside, I pull up a heavy chair.
She looks almost translucent beneath the yellow of her skin, and more wan than I have ever seen her. Her hair and eyebrows have faded away, eyelashes too. When she smiles at me, I can see the pain in her eyes. She draws a long breath.
“Aiden.” She reaches her hand out to me and I hasten to fill it with my own. When I grip her hand, she smiles. “I have something to tell you. I’m afraid you’ll just have to let me get this out.”
My stomach sinks. A deathbed confession? That can’t be good.
Hopefully she has secretly been stealing money from Dad for the last thirty years. But if that’s what she has to tell me, why not let Eve into the room too?
I lick my lips nervously, not knowing how to respond.
My mom closes her eyes. “When you were little, I imagined that I would tell you when you were older. But time just flies by, doesn’t it?”
My heart pounds but I maintain my composure. “Yes.”
“When I was twenty years old, I married your father.” She hesitates, opening her eyes. “But I spent the summer before that on the west coast, near Seattle. I worked for a wealthy family there named the Morgans. I became infatuated for a time with the oldest son, Thomas.” She stops, drawing another breath. “I left the west coast suddenly, without ever saying goodbye. I met and married your father two months after that.”
I’m quiet, trying to do the math in my head