and uncomfortable. Her focus on the physicality of what they were doing helped Honor keep it safely off the emotional aspects.
Not that it helped her particularly. She’d never felt anything like what his hard body and expert kisses inspired in her. Pretending not to realise that was murder. Had Nate ever been like that with her, or had she just forgotten?
Nate. Justin.
The ache in her heart concentrated into her belly and she heaved in a deep, shaky breath as she stilled. Not for the first time, she realised she hadn’t thought of them in hours. Oh, God, or was it days? She’d simply not realised.
Tears sprang into her eyes. She brought them both immediately to mind—imagined her bright-eyed little boy laughing and his serious-eyed father playing in their back yard. It physically hurt to think of them but Honor punished herself with thoughts and images as she scrubbed her body clean in the shade of a pisonia clump. The motions became fierce and painful, her cleansing sponge now a weapon.
She thought she’d held herself apart, these past days. While her body luxuriated in long forgotten closeness, her mind stayed vigilant for any slips and she kept her heart heavily fortified. She allowed herself to enjoy Rob’s touch—as if that was a choice—but few of her earlier lapses made it through the gauntlet of her renewed determination not to feel. If she could suppress her emotions about losing her family for years, then damping her bubbling connection to Rob Dalton for just a few days should be a piece of cake.
She tossed the sponge into its bowl and quickly towel-dried, knowing Rob could wake at any moment. How quickly they’d slipped into a comfortable zone with each other. Each able to stare at the other whenever they wished. To reach out and touch, to tug close and hold.
Yet Honor still couldn’t bring herself to be that free with his gaze. As though those all-seeing blue eyes might probe too deeply into hers and suddenly see her—the real her. The Honor actively withholding her heart and mind from him. If he’d noticed her habit of avoiding direct contact, he didn’t say a word.
Which made it too easy to pretend he might not.
Half an hour later, strong hands slid around her middle as she stared out to the north, lost in thought. She stiffened automatically, then consciously relaxed back into him. Touching was safe. If he was touching her he wouldn’t be asking more. It was when he stopped touching her and started working towards getting to know her that she really felt out of her depth. Getting to know you invariably led to getting to like you, which might just lead to—
She twisted in his arms and wrapped her own around him. His grip was relaxed, undemanding and strong. She drew such comfort from his solidness; it supported her physically and emotionally.
Oh, to have a hint of that strength at my disposal. Even on a good day, she felt just one setback away from complete meltdown.
‘How about you call in sick tonight and stay with me?’
Rob tucked her body close to his and rested his chin on the top of her head. She felt his warmth seep into her and temptation made her sag. She smiled against his perpetually bare chest, just millimetres from the tiny dumb-bell that had thrown her into such disarray that first day. She still loved it, even if she would never touch it. She’d made herself promise.
‘Who to? The head turtle?’ They both chuckled as he released her. She looked up at him. ‘I can’t. These night observations are critical.’
And I wouldn’t, anyway, a tiny voice hinted. She could only keep him physically occupied so long! She had no intention of lying in the dark for hours...talking.
‘Then how about I come out with you to the beach tonight?’
Honor’s movements stiffened. Why was he pushing it? He had her exclusively for hours every day. What more did he want from her?
‘It’s really easier if I do it alone.’
Her thoughts must have spilled out in her tone because she saw the uncharacteristic blaze of irritation in his eyes in the split second it took him to mask it. Then she imagined the cogs turning behind that tanned forehead and his eyes narrowed. He opened his mouth to speak and she steeled herself for his next tactic. Then he closed it again and relaxed back onto long spread legs. ‘I guess I’ll catch you later, then.’
‘You’ve got something to do?’