and sank down onto her swag, nausea threatening. Bad enough to have lost it so publicly out on the water; how much worse would it be having to face the inevitable pity in his face when she explained?
And she knew she must. He’d been unexpectedly silent about last night—the whole chick thing—but there was no way he would ignore this one. Or could.
Finally, she emerged. He thrust a hot cup of herbal tea into her shaking hands and gently pushed her into the camp chair.
‘I put sugar in, for the shock.’
Honor didn’t even know she had sugar. Although she’d realised by now that she had shock. She accepted the chamomile tea and sipped it. The heat pooling outwards met the warmth soaking inwards from where he’d rubbed and finally she started to feel somewhat normal again. Her heart rate began to ease.
He watched her without speaking. Those eyes were steady and patient. She wished he’d speak so that she didn’t have to, but his quiet witness only reminded her that it was her responsibility.
‘I’m sorry I ruined your dive.’ The truth was too hard, too confronting.
His eyebrows raised and his eyes burned. ‘Don’t. Don’t apologise for something I did. I’m so sorry I pressured you into coming.’ He squatted next to her. ‘You tried to tell me you were frightened of boats. I was too wrapped up in my own needs. I just had to make the dive.’
‘Not just any dive.’ Her voice was small.
‘No, not just any dive. But not worth that either.’
They fell to silence. His vehemence told her exactly how badly she’d lost it. She watched his jaw tightening, saw the colour flushing at his neck. He was taking too much on. She knew then she’d have to explain; she just didn’t know where to begin. A deep breath steadied her.
‘It’s not your fault. I used to love sailing and spent hours at sea with my husband.’
Surprise showed in his face and his glance dropped to her left hand. She flexed her fingers under his gaze. ‘I don’t wear it...any more.’
She stalled by sipping her soothing tea. ‘Our son inherited his father’s passion for the ocean.’
Rob’s eyebrows lifted. His hand slipped over Honor’s as sudden tears filled her eyes. ‘Justin was a regular little water-baby. We’d just bought a new yacht, a forty-two-footer. Nate loved a maiden voyage. Justin loved any voyage. Especially on the new boat.’
She took several swallows of tea, not knowing how to proceed. Rob read her hesitation and slid his other hand under hers. It seemed to disappear inside his large ones. ‘What happened?’
She stared into empty space. ‘It was our third day out in the...’ She still couldn’t bring herself to call the yacht by its name. ‘We sailed up to Exmouth and then struck a course for Christmas Island. The current was high one morning but the wind was low so we’d switched over to motor. It was perfect dolphin weather. Justin saw the pod and he...’ Her eyes stung. ‘He knew not to but...he just...jumped.’
In her mind, she saw his little sneakers tipping off the back of the cursed boat, a thousand kilometres from shore. His excited squeal. The awful flash of bright orange as his life vest hit the water.
‘I leaped in right off the back after him.’ Blue eyes shifted to her scars. ‘He missed the propeller, but I didn’t. The stabiliser guard sliced through my shoulder.’
Rob closed his eyes as her voice failed.
‘I held onto him for as long as I could with only one arm.’ Her voice rose with the agony of retelling, begged him to understand. Tears caught in her throat. ‘He drifted away. I clung to the ladder with my good arm and Nate jumped in and swam out to him. He tied his life vest to Justin’s and tried to swim them both back towards the boat, but the swell was so strong...’ The tears flowed freely now. The pain, the terror of that awful day clawed in her gut.
Rob’s nostrils flared and he wrapped both his hands around one of hers. ‘Don’t. I don’t need to know, Honor. Don’t relive it for me.’
She had to keep going. She didn’t understand why, after all this time, she needed him to know, but she did. Her voice cracked as she continued. ‘There was blood everywhere and I was terrified of attracting sharks, not for me but for Justin in the water. I don’t remember doing it but somehow I crawled back into the boat