few more games like this… They’ll be right back where they were last year.”
Ellie: Rough night. I watched at the bar. No one was happy with the calls. Some were bad, some were just stupid. Wanted you to know I was thinking about you.
Kingston: Yep. One of those nights.
Ellie: You doing okay?
Kingston: Fine.
Ellie: Okay… Well, if you want to talk, you know where to find me.
44
Ellie
Saturday, December 17th
I don’t know why I chose not to meet James at the Penalty Box. He offered after he told me he had been looking at my Facebook profile and knows where I work. For some reason I don’t want to be there. Not for our first face-to-face conversation since the day we unknowingly created our daughter. I know Noelle would be too curious and probably Julie, as well. On top of that, a lot of the customers know me. If things go sideways, that’s the last place I want to be.
Which is why I’m currently walking through Lakeline Mall, past Pac Sun and American Eagle as I make my way toward the food court, where we agreed to meet. The scent drifting from Auntie Anne’s has me suddenly craving a cinnamon pretzel.
Nope. Never mind. The mere thought has my stomach churning, my nerves stealing my hunger.
I feel like I’m meeting this man for the first time. Hell, I don’t even remember much about what he looks like. It’s been so long, and that single night is fuzzy thanks to all of the birthdays, play-offs, Thanksgivings, and Christmases that have passed. Not to mention the teething, the first day of kindergarten, the first dance, and yes, even the first pink hair.
But since this man, who is claiming to be my daughter’s father, said he was interested in talking to me, I know I can’t ignore him indefinitely. I did, however, manage to put James off for an entire week. I finally mustered up the nerve and called him last Saturday. We talked only briefly, and I told him I’d be willing to meet with him on Saturday. Today. He said that worked perfectly because he would be able to get a flight into Austin later in the week. I didn’t bother to ask him what he does for a living, or where he lives, but obviously he doesn’t live here. I’m not sure why I thought he would. We met in Las Vegas.
So, while I counted down the days, I had some time to think, to mull things over, to figure out what I’ll say to him when I see him for the first time after thirteen years.
Surprisingly, he hasn’t tried to rush me. We even exchanged a few text messages. Most of them were him texting to see if I was okay. For some reason, he thinks this is going to be hard on me.
He’s right. It is. I can’t imagine what it’s like for him.
And I’m nervous. The kind of nervous that makes your hands sweat and your stomach flutter. I feel something in my chest. It’s kind of hollow. With an echo. From all that damn fluttering going on.
I pass by a kiosk bedazzled with jewelry, another with cute cartoonish-looking signs with people’s names on them, then stop as I approach the food court. My heart is beating a mile a second, and I’m starting to feel dizzy.
“Ellie?”
I swallow hard and turn…
“James,” I whisper, shocked to the soles of my feet as I stare up into his face. He’s tall. Really, really tall.
Oh, my God.
It’s James. Bianca’s father. My Las Vegas one-night stand from thirteen years ago. He looks very much the same, only … at least a decade older.
Although I had my doubts when he contacted me, I know this man is her father. My memories might be fuzzy, but I would know him anywhere. Probably because Bianca looks so much like him it’s uncanny. She’s got my eyes—though hers are definitely more the color of his, an incredibly rich emerald green—and my dimpled chin, but she has his nose and cheekbones. And his thick eyebrows. She’s even got his ears.
He smiles warmly and my stomach plummets to my toes.
“Hey,” he says softly. “Come on. Sit down.”
I think I’m hyperventilating.
A gentle hand curls around my elbow and guides me to a table. James pulls out a chair and helps me into the seat.
“I’ll be right back.”
I lift my head and watch as he walks over to one of the restaurants. He buys a bottle of water and fills a cup