with what you just did, what we just did," he said. "If you want to explore this, I'm willing to do that with you. I just—" He glanced at Deyva, tongue flicking out over his lips in the same way hers did. "My main priority is that you feel safe and comfortable at all times. I never want you to feel pressured."
"I—but..."
There was no question of whether I felt safe with Stavros. He'd been a mentor to me, watching my back and growing closer as a friend since I ended up here. I'd rib him about his habits with women and he'd entertain my many theological discussions. I trusted Kais too, but he'd always been more closed off. I never connected with him like I did with Stavros.
With him, it had always been there. A simmering undercurrent I thought I had under control. If Deyva hadn't shown up, it probably still would be. She was the catalyst, somehow bringing forth everything I tried to bury. I was scared to death to face it—that I had sexual desires toward men and women equally. I felt like a fake, a failure.
And yet also...relieved? Like a burden had been lifted? The person I trusted most knew my darkest, most shameful secret, and it turned out he was the same as me. He still cared and wanted to look out for me. But...
"You two are together." It was the most coherent thought I could string together, looking between Deyva and Stavros. "I know you haven't made vows or anything, but—"
Deyva snorted, reaching up to scratch absently at one of her horns. "Yes, we can get into how patriarchal and oppressive sexual fidelity is later. What do you want, Zach?"
I turned back to Stavros. "It doesn't bother you that she just said that?"
The older priest shrugged his broad shoulders. "She's had all of us in our dreams. And yeah, I kinda figured Dey didn't subscribe to the same principles of monogamy as us."
"I guess I've never really been in a relationship before, come to think of it." Deyva tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Stav, wanna be my boyfriend? I'll let you fuck Zach."
My heart nearly beat out of my chest at the words, but there was a comforting plainness to how she said it too. Like the notion of us together was as normal as her offering us this arrangement.
Stavros coughed out a surprised laugh, a blush darkening his cheeks. "Uh, sure babe."
"Zach, want to be my other boyfriend? You can play with Stav all you want. You don’t even have to let me watch, but I’d be very grateful if you did."
"Um—" Yes! Yes, yes, yes. My hands tightened on Stavros and I barely nodded before she continued.
"Great, it's settled." She clapped her hands once. "We are now in a relationship, so no more worrying about those boundaries being crossed. Now back to the matter at hand. Zach," she pressed her palms together as if in prayer, "Stavros and I support you, whatever you decide. Nobody wants you to feel guilt or shame for who you are."
Stav's forehead nudged mine, a simple reminder that he was still close, but would back off if I showed any reluctance.
"God made you exactly as He intended." His breath fanned over my face. "But if you don't want this with me, or anyone, no one will push you. I promise you, Zach."
I watched his lips move as he talked, the want now overwhelming. It was steadier, not explosive like moments ago, but no less consuming.
I lifted my chin, angling my mouth toward Stav's. A small movement, but one he saw and understood. Dark eyelashes fluttered down as his mouth slanted over mine, lips pressing with a firm tenderness that wasn't entirely lust-fueled.
My heart pounded so hard, I was certain he could hear it. My body felt weightless, solid only where he touched me. I reached up, finding his coarse beard beneath my fingers as our mouths parted and reconnected with a sharp inhale of breath.
Strong arms locked around my waist, holding me secure, while I couldn't help but sigh and melt into him. This was Stavros—he'd never prey on me or let me fall. Who knew if or when I'd fully come to terms with how I felt, but I couldn't feel more glad that it was him with me.
His tongue slid into my mouth again, licking and tasting, enjoying me. I'd always loved the way he smelled, the rustic shampoo and beard oil he used. Now his scent