down the demon with her bare hands, a wild predator’s rage and focus sharpening her face into something demonic. Demonic and beautiful, fierce. Azariah’s eyes creased with shame.
I closed my eyes and tried to push them both from my mind, but it was only the angel who retreated. Deyva remained in all her ferocious glory, an avenging angel, if angels had horns and looked bloodthirsty in battle.
She’s a hellion.
A hellion who saved my ass.
There was a thump and a giggle from the next room over and I covered my face to stifle my groan. Kais had grabbed a shower first and then come down to warn us. Deyva was with Stavros.
Feeding.
It had been over an hour now, and while the sounds I’d caught for the first half literally made me feel like I was about to burst out my skin—they sounded like they were dying in a way that had made me harder than I’d ever been in my entire life—now it was all just laughter and quiet talking, the occasional squeak from the bed.
Castration was an option, right? Because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stand feeling like this.
“How are you feeling?”
My thoughts about her were so loud, I didn’t hear the soft swishing of feathers as Azariah came to sit next to my bedside, a glass of water in one hand. His brow was pinched, his entire body wrought with tension. The complete opposite of the relaxed giggling and sighing coming from the other room.
“Pretty rough,” I admitted, accepting the water. “Thanks.”
I gulped it down greedily, not realizing until that moment how thirsty I was. A bright, feminine laugh floated up from Stavros' room. I got a mental image of him tickling her and as luck would have it, my next gulp went down the wrong pipe and I immediately started coughing.
“Here, sit up.” Azariah slid a hand along my upper back, gently pulling forward so I could catch a breath. His hand remained there even as my coughing dissipated, a warm, comforting weight with his thumb gently stroking the back of my neck.
“Thanks,” I muttered, stealing yet another glance at his face. “Again.” Ever since he came to our gate, I couldn’t seem to stop myself from looking at him.
His lips pressed with concern, brows still knitted as he met my gaze. “I failed you.”
“It’s…” I didn’t know what to say. He was right. My knee-jerk reaction was to reassure him, to tell him everything was fine. But he did fail us. We could have had the upper hand the whole time had he just kept his head in the game. Deyva wouldn’t have had to go outside the gate and drain all her energy, wouldn’t need to feed so loudly from Stav in the next room, although I had a feeling that would have happened regardless.
“I screwed up too,” was my chosen reply before a nervous swallow. “I...should probably confess something.”
Azariah’s hand was in my hair now, fingers massaging the base of my skull. He scooted closer, until he was nearly lying in bed with me. The feathers on the tip of his wing brushed against my pant leg.
“Dear one, what would you ever need to confess?” he asked, gaze drifting to my lips. “You fought so bravely, a true soldier of God.”
“I don’t usually run in so recklessly,” I said in one rushed breath. “I’m normally a lot more careful, but I—” My eyes lowered, taking in the long, athletic lines of the angel’s lithe body. “I wanted to impress you, I guess.” My face burned, shame filling me from head to toe. “To prove myself worthy to you. To God. I’m guilty of the sin of pride, and that too was no help to us.”
Azariah didn’t react immediately and the shame pooled in my stomach. Then warm fingers lifted my chin, bringing my gaze back to his. Fuck, he was so beautiful to look at, I nearly wanted to shut my eyes. I didn’t feel worthy to gaze upon an angel.
And yet, today was proof that even angels were fallible. They made mistakes. Deyva mentioned something about her kind behind God’s first mistake. Was it just the nature of creation to have flaws? Could anything, even divinely made, ever be truly perfect?
“You are guilty of nothing, Zachariah.” Azariah said the words with such absolute conviction, it felt like he was speaking to every moment of my life when that oppressive feeling permeated through every corner of my soul.
Since I was a child,