at me to kiss her back. To sink into the taste of that mouth I’d been missing in my dreams, to remember the shape of her luscious body under her baggy T-shirt.
I grabbed hold of her upper arms, fighting the burning need to draw her into my chest and shoved her away instead.
“Never fucking do that again,” I growled before jamming the kitchen door open with my shoulder, and letting it slam behind me.
Once again, I hurried to get away from thinking or feeling anything. If there was nothing to do, I’d carry fucking rocks back and forth across town.
I could only hope I made it clear that she wasn’t mine. And unlike with Stavros, she couldn’t fix what was broken about me.
17
Love is Kind
Deyva
“You okay up there, babe?”
I suppressed an eyeroll, but let the smile shine through. I didn’t care for pet names, but Stavros tasted so happy when he called me babe, I couldn’t bear telling him to stop.
“Just fine, sugar dumpling!”
His laughter tasted bright and bubbly, like the champagne I had at a New Year’s Eve party back at the dawn of the eighteenth century. He held the ladder steady beneath me while I cleaned the dirt and grime from the stained glass windows of the church.
“Once Azariah’s wing is healed, we can just make him do this,” I suggested, adding under my breath, “He can keep his busy little hands to himself for once.”
“Have you noticed he’s healing a lot slower than you did? You know, after you and I started…”
I glanced down and Stavros waggled his eyebrows at me, deep dimples carving into his cheeks with his grin. I clutched at the top of the ladder, resisting the urge to tackle him into the ground and ride him like a county fair pony where anyone could see.
“Angels aren’t that different from my kind, I guess. He needs love to really heal, and he’s down here, not up there at home,” I said, shrugging and finishing up with the window.
“You think that’s why he went after Zach?” Stavros asked.
I frowned and sighed, slowly stepping down the ladder, smiling as Stavros refused to pull away and let me sink down between his arms. I turned and leaned against the ladder and he leaned in too, both of us wearing that same ridiculous smile. As it turned out, the human feels were kinda nice.
“Look, I’m not happy about what happened between him and Zach, mainly because I knew Az was hiding something, and Zach’s not someone who should...risk his principles for lies. But in Az’s defense, Zach’s faith and, you know, all around choir boy perfection? That had to be a beacon for the angel.”
“Was my lust a beacon for you?” Stavros asked. He was calm, nonjudgmental, and I shrugged off any defensiveness that prickled at me.
“It wasn’t your lust that called me to your dreams, Stavros. It was how badly you craved care and affection, touch. You needed those dreams as much as I did,” I said, leaving the rag on the ledge of the ladder and cupping Stavros’ cheeks in my hand, scratching gently into his beard and drawing him to me for a slow, drowsy kiss.
“Whatever happened back there, if you ever need to talk, you know I’m here,” Stavros whispered back. “So are Zach and Kais for that matter.”
“Like a confession?” I asked, frowning. “Pretty sure that would...take kinda a long time. I’ve been around—”
He cut me off with a kiss, pulling away with a crooked grin, deep honey eyes laughing. “Doesn’t have to be like that. Priests do more than assign Hail Marys and baptisms. Sometimes we just listen when people are having a hard time. I heard Azariah, Dey. You went through something unimaginable.”
Through centuries of it, actually, even if the worst had been more recent. Altogether it would be enough to make Stavros’ hair go gray with just a decade’s worth of unburdening.
“I wasn’t always the victim,” I admitted, biting my lip and wishing I could take the words back, fixing my stare to Stavros’ strong chin.
He just nodded. Not surprised, not disappointed, just listening.
I released a long sigh and then glanced at the church. There were people inside, praying, teaching, reflecting. And also…
“Can I show you something?” I asked.
“Of course.”
I took Stavros’ hand and led him into the church, through the gym and the halls, right up to the chapel. Zach was in the confessional booth, listening to the murmurs of a woman who was full of spite. Az was