the sky. Vanessa didn’t see it coming. Didn’t even have time to scream. It was the best!
Racing forward, magic streaming from her fingers like her hands were hoses and her enchantment the water, Zelda covered Vanessa in mystical chains, holding her down like it was just another day at the office. Looking up at me, the Almighty Shifter Wanker gave a single nod and ordered, “Peck the bitch’s eyes out, Clem. It’s your right. She came after you and yours.”
But before I could wake Cassandra up or get my lips to answer, Tank roared, “I got this!”
And man-oh-man did he!
Bing! Bang! Boom! Open came his jaw, out shot fiery green and yellow flames I had no clue he could produce, and just like that, Vanessa Vandermere was gone with the freakin' wind. And what's more, her entire army of Things simply turned to ash and blew away in the hot, humid breeze of the Swamp just like their so-called Queen. It was all over so fast, I couldn't believe it.
What was even funnier was the appearance of Jessalyn and Jacquelyn, Tank's nieces – the twin Pterodactyls who have been both a help and a hindrance to my Flock and I as we all return to Tallulu Parish and reunite under the same roof, so to speak. Descending from the sky after escaping from their rooms at Bailmore Hall - where they should have been locked down for as much of the foreseeable future as we, the Maidens of Mayhem, deemed necessary - (Something Edna assured us all will be addressed ASAP.) the girls transformed back to, well, tall, thin, teenage girls, and in perfect unison, pouted, "Well, shoot, we wanted to eat the nasty woman. We've been working on getting three square meals a day, and our Dactyls were hungry."
Not a dadgum one of us could keep a straight face, and in less than thirty seconds, everybody was laughing so hard that there wasn't a dry eye among us. Thankfully, J.B. changed back from Hound Dog to Detective and got his pregnant Maxine out of the SUV, and she was there to share in the laughter and love.
Best of all, my Tank turned back into the sexy, hunky man I already loved with all my heart, took me in his arms, and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. Lost in his embrace, wondering if anyone would miss us if we just ran off and ahem, did a little consummating of our new love, I jumped to attention and right out of my Mate's arms when a bellow rang out over all of Thomas Manor.
"Clementine Sue Cooper, you better stop kissing that boy and listen to what I've got to say!"
Doing exactly as I was instructed without even knowing what was happening or who was doing the yelling, my eyes landed on the floating figures of none other than Miss MacElfresh, Miss Mabel, Uncle Clyde, and a whole host of other wonderful Tallulu Parish residents who had previously passed away. Smiling faces with bright white light haloing their images, I could see the happiness beaming from each of them. It brought a tear to my eye. Nobody – not one person I'd ever met deserved to be happy and kickin' it back in the Big Vacay in the Sky more than our dear Elders.
Then Miss M started to speak, and my heart was so filled with love, I thought it might burst.
“Oh, Clementine, I told you that you and your Flock were the good ones, and lookie there, y’all just proved me right. Y’all done good, girls, boys, everybody. Real good." Giving me a nod, she looked at each of my friends and their Mates, and lastly, Zelda, "And you, Miss Zee, the Almighty Shifter Wanker and Witch next in line to be the Baba Yaga, you got all the right stuff. Thank you for being such a good friend to our kids."
“My pleasure, Ma’am,” the fiery redhead answered, with just a touch of a blush on her cheeks and a little bit of a tear in her eye.
"Tank and Jenn," Miss Mabel called out. "Take care of each other and your Mates." She smiled at me before moving to her other grandkids and adding, "And Jessalyn and Jacquelyn, stay outta trouble, mind your Elders, and stop eating what don't deserve it. Or, if you think a person does deserve to be your dinner, remember, some folks are so nasty they'll give even a Pterodactyl heartburn."
Fading into the sunset, their