and look later. It is on my bucket list though. At least there's that.)
What was happening was most assuredly, not good. But it wasn't horrible and terribly awful either. It was, well, just a five on a scale of one to ten where one is happy Zelda, and ten is nuclear fallout Zelda.
You see, the Enchantress of whom I speak, Zee for short, was the Witch next in line to be the Baba Yaga. She also happened to be the Almighty Shifter Wanker. That means that she has the magical gift of healing Shifters and other magical beings of all sorts of ailments, maladies, and oopsy-doopsies. The problem is, she feels the pain in whatever body part she heals. So, we try not to ask her to do that kind of thing unless it’s really, really serious. Like, life-threatening, about to go to what Jenn and Tank's Auntie Mabel calls the Big Vacay in the Sky. Yep, in a word – dead.
Moving on, not only was Zelda my friend, but she was a buddy to everyone in my Flock, as well. On top of all that, she was so mighty that her magic changed not only shape, but also color and size and sometimes scent depending on her mood.
Let me give you an example. Dark green and blood-red meant she was furious, or what I referred to as 'get the hell outta the way, Zelda's 'bout to blow.' Gold sparkles only happened when she was pissed – which I called 'y'all done fucked up now, Zelda's gonna kick your asses.' On this occasion, every little bit of magic running through her veins came out light green, pale red, with just the teensiest tinge of sparkling gold. We were safe. Nobody, namely me, had done fucked up so bad that I couldn't apologize, we'd all still be bosom buds, and everybody would stay in one piece. However, I did take it as a sign that I needed to cool my jets, which I made happen as quickly as Canarily possible.
(Yes, I know, you're thinking that it was Monique and Colleen who should've been worried. It was those two ladies who were spittin' and spattin' at one another. I agree. However, those two numbnuts were really slow in the whole 'self-awareness' department. If I was to wait for them to finally wake up, smell the birdseed, and apologize for being dipshits, we'd all have been old and gray, and who's got time for that crap? About a week from now, both of them will show up at Midnight Margaritas with their heads hung in shame, wearing boo-boo, pouty faces, and say they're sorry to all of us. Until then, I had to make it right. That's what you do for the people you love, don'tcha know?)
Okay, so, where was I? Oh yeah, in case you were wondering, Zelda wasn't done yet. Her whistle went on for at least twenty-two seconds, during which time she blew so hard that the breeze literally knocked my long bright blond curls right off my shoulders and made the new curtains over the tiny windows at the top of the walls swing from side-to-side.
And, even after all that, there was still more to come…
"Alright, people," Zelda snapped. "I am the one who brought Cora. I am the reason she's here." Sliding her eyes towards the Crane Shifter, little sparks of red and green shooting from the tips of her fingers, she added with a growl, “’Cause she told me her visit was all arranged and that you guys needed her. Okay, so, maybe I should've asked more questions. Made a phone call or two. But in my defense, I am a working mother of twins." Clearing her throat like the preacher from the pulpit does when he's caught you passing notes during morning prayer, she gave Cora the you-know-what-you-did big eyes as her eyebrows disappeared under her bangs. Waiting precisely two seconds before coming back around to the rest of us, the Almighty Shifter Wanker added, "I'mma try to answer your other questions in order, 'kay?"
Nodding in my direction, Zelda shrugged her shoulders and let her head fall to the side with an I'm-sorry-she-asked-and-I-did-it-without-checking-with-you look on her face before half asking-half telling, "Since my girl here said she'd talked to you…"
“Which wasn’t a lie,” Cora threw in for good measure, begging me with her eyes to chime in and say something that would make her not look like such a butthead.
Nope. No way. I wasn't buying it.