my lap. I’m already getting hard, and feeling her on top of me has my dick pulsating. She removes her tee, revealing her breasts. All that remains are her panties.
Her wavy hair falls to where it almost touches her nipples, and her eyes, well, I swear I’m under their spell. I hope the enchantment is strong enough to get me through this without running away like a fucking scaredy cat.
I touch her face, absently brushing my thumb across her cheek, and then I kiss her. Before her, I never dreamed of kissing a woman. Now it’s all I think about. But in my dreams, she touches me. In my dreams, I’m normal and we do all the things other people do when they get intimate.
I put my hands on her breasts. They’re as nice as I remember. It’s like they were made to fit perfectly in my hands.
Ella touches my shoulders, and when I don’t protest, she weaves her fingers through my hair. I try hard not to flinch. I don’t want to scare her away. But sometimes when people touch my hair, it reminds me of him. How he used to grab onto it right before he blew his load into me.
As I start to go flaccid, I get pissed at myself for letting him into my head. I look at Ella, intent on thinking of nothing and no one but her. She’s the one touching me.
I lick her nipple. She inhales sharply and arches into me. The more demanding I am, the tighter she grips my hair. I reposition us so I’m lying down and she straddles me. “You’re beautiful, do you know that?”
Her cheeks pink.
“I’ve never said that to anyone before. You’re the first.”
She smiles. “I want to be the first to do a lot of things with you.” She leans down until her breasts squish against my chest. “I want you.”
I tense. “I want you too, but not until we can do it the right way.”
“We don’t have to do everything.” She rolls off me. “Take off your pants.”
“You do it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Do it, Ella.”
She unbuttons my jeans and pulls them down, careful not to touch me. It makes me both happy and sad at the same time. She’s respecting my boundaries. But damn it, I wish there weren’t any boundaries to have to respect.
She drops my jeans on the floor. “Can I touch your feet?”
I nod.
She watches me as she caresses my foot for a few seconds before moving higher to massage my calf. It feels great. Maybe I can do this after all.
“Can I put my lips here?” she asks, touching the inside of my knee.
I swallow hard and nod again.
She kisses the spot, flicking her tongue against my skin. I’m getting hard again. I want to touch her, but she’s too far away.
She accidentally grazes the scars on my thigh, and I flinch. “Jesus,” I say, embarrassed by my reaction. “Sorry.”
She stares at the scars. I know she wants to ask me how I got them, but she won’t. She never asks me about anything. Unlike most people, she understands that my past is private. And nobody’s business but mine. “It’s okay, Liam. I won’t touch you there if you don’t want me to.”
“I want you to, El. I want you to touch me everywhere. But when you do, sometimes I can’t help but think of other shit I shouldn’t be thinking of.”
She straddles me again, undulating on top of me, two scraps of fabric the only things between us. I’m instantly hard. If I pulled aside her panties, I could slip right in. I don’t even think she’d object. But I can’t do it quick and dirty, not with her.
I fondle her breasts. Her head falls back, and the sexiest little noise comes out of her mouth. Not a moan. More like a chirp. Holy shit.
I work a finger under her panties. She’s so wet. I slip it inside her and work the wetness up around her clit. She arches her back again and braces her hands behind her on the bed, opening herself to me. I work my fingers harder. She pushes down on me. I can tell she’s close. I reach up and pinch her nipple, then release, then pinch again. She cries out, and her walls clamp down on my fingers.
“Put your hands on me,” I say.
She opens her eyes. “Where?”
“Here.” I point to my chest.
She carefully works her fingers over my pecs and nipples but doesn’t go any