my bottom lip between my teeth when he shudders beneath me. He rests his hands at my hips, but I’m unafraid of the contact. I’m fascinated by the way he’s looking up at me, eyes burning, jaw set, head angled back a little, exposing the column of his throat as he leans into my touch.
“Stop biting your lip,” he grinds out roughly.
“Why?” God, my own voice has its own uneven step to it, too.
“Because it’s driving me fucking crazy,” he says.
“Now, now, Mr. Moretti. Patience is king.”
“I’m patient. For you, I’ll be eternally patient. Doesn’t mean watching you bite that lip isn’t the most torturous thing I’ve ever fucking seen.”
I’m pleased, though I try not to be. Being pleased means I’m enjoying the fact that I can turn him on so easily. And that? That’s dangerous.
When Alex shifts underneath me again, my reaction is immediate and unintentional, though. I press my hips down, rolling them once against him, and Alex goes absolutely, utterly, terrifyingly still. No sound comes out of his mouth, but I can read the word he mouths perfectly well on his lips. “Fuck.” A tendon strains in his neck, the muscles in his chest tensed beneath his t-shirt as he tightens beneath me.
I’m burning up. My face must be bright red from my jawline to my hairline. I feel…I feel alive, in a dangerous, reckless, insane kind of way, and for the first time since Leon Wickman’s Spring Fling party, I also feel a little powerful. Like in that slight, barely-there movement just now, I regained a scrap of the power that was stolen from me. The first time I rocked myself against him might have been an accident, but the second time I do it…shit, I don’t know what possesses me, but the second time I do it, I do it on purpose.
A flare of pleasure, intense and a little bewildering, sparks between my legs as I roll my hips again, and Alex’s fingers dig into my sides, gouging into my hips, through my jeans.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Silver,” he pants. In two seconds flat, I’m off his lap, on my back, the sofa underneath me, and Alex is hovering over me, holding his weight off me, his mouth less than an inch from mine. “If I kiss you now, I’m going to try and fucking consume you,” he rasps. “It won’t be a little sip. It won’t be fucking controlled.”
I take hold of the bottom of his t-shirt, not knowing what the fuck to do—if I want to tear through the thin material or just have done with it and rip the damn thing over his head. “Do it,” I pant. “It’ll be okay. I think…I think I’ll be okay.”
A brief, flicker of hesitation flashes in his eyes, but it's gone before it even really forms. Gritting his teeth, a guttural, pained sound works free from the back of his throat. “No.” He shoves away from me, throwing himself back toward the other end of the couch, then he groans again, running his hands through his hair, tugging on it hard. “We should be smart. We should wait,” he says breathlessly.
Oh, my fucking god. Silver Parisi, what the fuck is wrong with you? I am the one who was assaulted, beaten and humiliated, and yet it’s me trying to rush into things now? “Shit. I’m sorry. I’m…fuck. I’m really sorry, Alex.”
He sits there with his hands still buried in his hair. Then he falls slack, sinking back against the couch. His hands drop to his sides, then he glances at me out of the corner of his eye. “It’s okay. It’s not a big deal.”
“But you’re a guy,” I say, wincing. “That kind of shit really is torture for you. Doesn’t it cause serious internal damage or something? If you get turned on and then you can’t do anything about it?”
Alex doesn’t react to this statement the way I expect him to. He twists around quickly, facing me, grabbing hold of my hand. “You know what that is, Silver?” he growls. “That is a lie told by pieces of shit who’ll say anything to get what they want. A fucking lie. There wouldn’t be a man left alive if that were true. I’m pretty sure every single adolescent guy in the world gets a boner on the bus on the way to fucking school each morning. We’re not out there, yelling at the driver, calling them a prick tease ’cause the vibrations from their fucking bus