the next fifteen seconds, I fluctuate between anger and hurt, though, feeling utterly, completely stupid.
I tap out a message before I can stop myself. Not a reply to the video. A message to Alex.
Me: Congrats on your conquest. Zen always gets what she wants. Glad you had a good night.
Almost immediately, a bubble pops up with three dots—I wasn’t expecting a response from him at all, let alone so damn quickly, but Alex is typing out a reply. I sit there, staring at the screen, dread tightening like a fist in the hollow of my chest.
The three dots inside the bubble continue to shuffle, signaling that he's still typing, but then it just…disappears. I instantly kick myself. I've spent the afternoon telling myself there's no way I could ever be with Alex, and in the next fucking breath, I'm allowing myself to get sucked into this bullshit, letting myself sink into some sort of nasty downward spiral because he might have hooked up with Zen or Kacey. Or fucking both of them. God. Nope. I shudder out of the thought.
The phone chimes, just as I toss it beside the groceries on the passenger seat. I sit very still, trying to decide how I want to proceed here. I shouldn’t read the message. I should drive back to the cabin and put this behind me. It’s bad enough that I texted him in the first place. I should have ignored the video and fucking deleted it.
Then the phone chimes again.
Fuuuck.
I pick up the phone, hating myself.
Alex: Conquest?
And then…
Alex: Where are you?
I drop the phone, startled by the question. Why does he want to know where I am? He does not need to know where I am. I really am such a fucking idiot. I shouldn’t have said a word. I should have kept my mouth shut and pretended I didn’t care, even if the idea of him with someone else, especially one of my ex friends, did sting for a second. Now, I’ve tipped my hand in an awkward way that’s going to be difficult to talk my way out of.
Ignore him, Silver. Do not reply. Best way to handle this is to just pretend like it didn’t happen.
“Great advice, asshole,” I growl at myself. “You’re great at pretending, aren’t you? It’s your fucking forte.”
I scowl at the screen, the few brief words Alex sent my way blazing there in black and white, and I can’t think of anything else to do, though. I drive all the way back to the cabin, cursing at myself under my breath. When I check my phone, parked in the driveway, there are zero bars in the top left-hand corner of the screen, and I'm awash with relief. But even I know that it's stupid to be relieved, when I can't hide from him forever. This weekend might be a day longer, but Tuesday isn't that far away. I'm still going to have to face Alex at school. I delete the video, along with the text, so I can't torture myself with it anymore.
17
SILVER
“I’m not a monster, though I do sometimes work for monsters.”
I cram popcorn into my mouth, eyes glued on the T.V. screen. I can quote this movie word for word, but I still like to watch it with the subtitles on. Simon’s big reveal that he does, in fact, have a soul, does nothing to endear him to me, as I sip on a diet coke, digging my toes beneath the cushion at the end of the sofa.
I blink and see Alex, sitting on the edge of a lounger, staring at Kacey and Zen as they rub their naked, wet bodies up against one another. Apparently, it is not safe to close my eyes just yet, not even for a microsecond. I try to lose myself in the explosive action taking place on the screen. It’s not easy, but after a while, I’m suitably numb and warmed by the fire, and I begin to drift off.
Much later, I come to with a start, knowing that something woke me. The living room’s filled with the sound of static, and the T.V. screen is all snow, the DVD having switched itself off at the end of the film. All is silent. The patter of the rain on the sloped roof is even absent, and my ears seem to ring with the tense quiet.
Something isn’t right. Something…
There’s a loud slam outside, the sound of a car door being closed.
I leap up from the couch, my