Yeah, I don’t want her to leave either.
“I’ll give you a ride.”
There’s some kind of awkward tension in the air as I grab the keys and open the door. She pauses in the doorstep, back towards me.
“You okay?”
She nods and turns around, pushin’ her eyes up to meet mine. “Do you… I mean, you don’t think I’m too f—”
“If you say the word ‘fat’ one more time I’m going to knock you upside the head.” I lean against the doorknob, watchin’ the rain fall behind her. “You gotta stop believin’ your mom. She’s wrong. And if she’s too embarrassed by you, then she’s not worth pleasin’. You’re her daughter. That should be good enough.” I pause to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. I’m not afraid to touch her anymore. “You are good enough. At least I think so.”
She smiles her Hayley smile. Then she glances over her shoulder at the pourin’ rain. I really don’t want her to go, but if she thinks her mom’s going to be home, I don’t want to get her in trouble either.
Her head whips back around, scaring me a little. The smile is still on her face, but she looks kind of nervous. And when she says somethin’, I know why.
“Kiss me.”
Reason 22: You smile when you kiss
Wait. What did she just say? “Huh?”
“I want you to kiss me now.” Her lips pull up into that amazing smile, and she lets out a nervous giggle.
“You… you sure?”
She nods and takes a step closer. I can’t believe she’s sayin’ this to me now. After all that stuff with her mom and after the whole, ‘I want my first kiss to mean something’, I didn’t think she’d be ready for it… now. I mean, thought I’d have to wait at least a couple of days.
I gulp and close the distance between us. Man, I hope I do this right. Don’t want to make her first kiss too slobbery or awkward or anythin’ that’ll disappoint her. She deserves to have a kiss that’ll make her want more. A kiss that’ll tell her exactly how I feel about her.
Cupping her face between my hands, I gauge her eyes before I go in farther. She closes them and lets out a small puff of air I can taste. Her mint chocolate smell makes me close my eyes too, and I pull her closer, noses touching, breath mixing.
“Um, Brody?”
The air rushes out of my lips, which are centimeters away from hers. “Yeah?”
“Can you like, not use your tongue?”
Can’t help the chuckle that rumbles through my throat. “What?”
We both open our eyes, but I keep her face close.
“It’s just, I already don’t know what the crap I’m doing, and if you stick your tongue in my mouth, I really don’t know how I’m going to… like, I don’t know how that all works, so if you could keep it to yourself this first time around—”
“Hayles,” I interrupt. Darn girl is going a million miles a minute. “I won’t use my tongue, I promise.”
She sighs, her breath smacking me in the face again. “Okay, sorry.” She smiles. “Continue.”
I’m about to, taking my time again to relish the fact I’m freakin’ going to kiss my girl, noses touching again, hands on her soft cheeks…
“Brody?”
I sigh, but it sort-of comes out like a growl. “Yeah?”
“Sorry,” she says, pulling back. Wait, did she change her mind? No, she’s smiling and kind of giggling. “So, like, what if I’m bad at this?”
“What?”
“You’ll tell me if I’m bad at the whole kissing thing, right?” She reaches up and rubs her temples, closing her eyes tight. “Or at least you won’t judge me too harshly for not knowing where to put my hands or how to move my lips or anything.”
“Hayles,” I say, pulling her back toward me, “don’t over-think this, ‘kay?”
She takes a deep breath, grabs my hands and sticks them back on her cheeks. “Okay, sorry.” Her eyes close. “Give it to me.”
I chuckle, shaking my head. Girl is so amazing. How did I end up bein’ the lucky first guy to give her this moment? I’m still smiling as our lips barely touch.
“Um…”
Ugh! This girl!
“What is it now?”
“Did I… gosh, did I put too much pressure on you?”
“What?”
“‘Cause I didn’t mean to. You’re not worried about it, are you? Like, this is what you wanna do, right? You still want to give me my first kiss? Or am I just pressuring you into it? Or is there too much pressure now to