Just a group of friends hanging out.”
“But he asked for your number. That sounds like he was into you.”
I shouldn’t be jealous of something that was forever ago, but I am. Stupid punk dick.
“Right? I knew I wasn’t crazy about that!”
“Huh?”
“Well, he asked for my number and called me… a lot! Like every freakin’ day. I thought, ‘Holy crap! Someone actually picked me out of all my skinny gorgeous friends. Score!’ But, then after a couple of weeks, he asked if we could all hang out again. As a group, which I was okay with. You know, less pressure and crap.”
“Okay…?” Yeah, still not getting where this is going.
“Well, he asked if Lexi would be there. I told him yes, ‘cause she’s like my best friend, and he asked me… well, he asked if I could talk him up so he’d have a chance with her.”
What a pussy. Even in the ninth grade, I knew how to ask out a girl without going through the best friend first.
“Well, I was a little pissed, and a lot hurt, but I probably just read things wrong.”
“No—”
“But when I told Lexi about Jason, she was so thrilled… I guess she was into him too, so I set them up.”
“Wait, she didn’t know you liked him?”
“No. I don’t tell people about my crushes. It’s like voicing them only makes it worse when they don’t like me back.”
That makes sense. But dude, still feel like kickin’ Jason’s ass until my foot pops out his mouth.
“They still together?”
“Yeah.” She scratches her nose and slides closer to me. Damn. Her wet hair mixed with her normal chocolate smell is a real turn on. “The same thing happened with Mike, Wes, and Nick. That’s when I learned not to get my hopes up with every guy who paid me even the smallest amount of attention. To take matters in my own hands, and offer to help out before I could get hurt… or attached.”
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I’m no better than any of the other douchebags who used her to get to someone else. It may have started that way with me, but it sure as hell won’t end that way.
No wonder she’s so weird about dating.
“Anyway, all my friends now have boyfriends I set them up with. And I’m pretty good at it, since they are all still together.” She smiles and pats my leg. “So there’s my resume! Do I have you convinced now I can get you with Quynn?”
I nod, but I’m not really payin’ attention anymore. I feel like shit. She’s never goin’ to think I’m for real until I tell her Quynn isn’t who I want anymore.
It’s her.
But will she ever believe that?
“So, I’ve lost count on our questions.” She laughs, her breath tickling my face. “But I’m pretty sure you’ve run out.”
I nod.
“Hey.”
I look at her.
“You okay?”
No. I’m not okay. I’ve got a girl who refuses to believe anyone could fall for her because she’s fat, and she refuses to fall for anyone else because she doesn’t want to get hurt.
I don’t ever want to hurt her. I want to be with her. Hold her and show her she’s freakin’ wrong.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Reason 11: You are perceptive
One day. One damn day since I talked with Hayles. I’ve never been more happy for a Monday.
Funny thing, it’s not ‘cause of Quynn that I’m anxious to get to the ASL room. I have the palm sweats and the gut knots and all that other stuff that tells me I’m in way over my head. That’s normal for the ASL room, but it’s for a different girl this time.
And it’s about a hundred times worse.
I kind of wonder if it’s ‘cause I couldn’t text Hayles at all after I dropped her off. I really regret not askin’ her more about her ‘waterlogged’ phone. I’m askin’ today ‘cause this shit sucks. It’s like I need to talk to her. All. The. Time.
Damn it.
I am in way over my head.
And it’s only lunch time. Just one. More. Hour.
I jam my earphones in and crank up the music. I’m not in the mood to people watch today. Gotta calm my nerves.
I’m going to do it today. I’m going to ask her out, and she’s going to say yes and believe me. Even if I have to freakin’ shake her until she gets it.
Drummin’ my fingers on my knees, I close my eyes and try to erase everythin’ twisting in my stomach. It’s just a girl. Just a girl. Done this