won’t,” he rasped.
“Sorry,” I breathed, moving my hand over my face. “I can’t control it around you anymore. Something about our magic playing together makes you able to flip it back on. I’m not trying to keep bringing this up.”
“I know that. I would never think that of you, Tamsin.” He didn’t give me a chance to respond, kissing me before spreading my legs. He lined himself up and pushed inside of me as his other hand held my face so I stared into his eyes. “We’ll be us again.”
I turned my head the other way. I couldn’t look at him when he said stuff like that. Not when we were having sex. Not when I was trying to hold it together.
Not when I was trying to keep from crying again.
“Don’t hold it back from me,” he begged as he kissed my neck. “I want the good and the bad. You’re not trying to hurt me. I know this. I want to share your pain so you can heal.”
Was that how it worked? Wouldn’t we both simply be in pain then?
Wouldn’t he resent me for not getting over it?
I gasped as he thrust in me deeply.
“I love you and this is real,” he grunted as he picked up the pace.
I couldn’t hold back the tears then, crying even as I nodded and wasn’t sure I believed him. Could I feel all of that and his love for me as our bodies came together?
Fuck if I knew, but I was.
“Hold on. Hold onto me,” he begged as he interlocked our fingers.
I moved my other arm around him and my legs, not sure if that was what he meant, but it seemed to be right since his other hand went to my lower back to hold me closer. It made me realize I wasn’t the only one crying, his tears landing on my neck.
“This isn’t a mistake,” he chanted, his voice cracking as we moved faster, as more tears fell. He lifted his head and I saw he was as much of mess as I was. His hand came to my face and he pressed his lips to mine. “Believe in me again, my sweet fairy. I won’t take my eyes off of you this time, I promise.”
I silently sobbed even as my orgasm slammed into me, his words hitting one extreme of my feelings as his body took every nerve I had the other way. He followed me right over, and I wasn’t sure if the orgasm was the best ever or the worst as I was emotionally exhausted as well.
Both?
Sure, both could be the answer.
We stared at each other for several minutes as we gasped for air, not seeming to know what to say. Finally, he swallowed loudly and broke the silence.
“That was everything, but now we’re going to go slow because I’m so bloody in love with you that I cannot rush you again. You pushed yourself so I was safe and protected, and now you’re going to let me protect your valid hurt and pain and help you heal as I should. Okay?”
I let out a shaky breath and said the only thing I could. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he sighed, relief thick in his eyes.
Okay… So now what?
17
Loud banging woke me with a start, a strong arm keeping me from leaping out of bed to handle whatever was going on.
“You’re all right, love,” Craftsman whispered in my ear. “It’s just—”
“Oi, get your ass up and let’s go, Craftsman,” Professor Nelson said from the hallway before banging again.
Craftsman moved his hand over my ear as if it would help much before shouting back. “I’m running late. Go ahead and I’ll catch up, mate.”
There was a short pause. “You have a barrier up. I’d ask if you had a woman in there, but you wouldn’t even look at one besides the one you—is she in there? Oh fuck, if she’s taken you back, I will kiss her feet. You no longer a demon would be great.”
It took all I had not to burst out laughing. Craftsman tickling my side didn’t help.
Until I realized that he could call out through my barrier if he wanted. Damn, he was seriously talented to have figured that out already now that he could play off my magic. It was cool and scary that he could do so much to my power.
“He’s such a dog,” I chuckled when Nelson asked more questions.
“Yeah, but it comes from somewhere—he’s a decent man who can’t get his head on straight.