reply was on my lips and chuckled. “I want all parts of you. I know I was the first to truly make love to you. You wanted to give me your first time doing oral sex. I wanted that. I was your first overnight. I want as many of your first and parts of you no one else has had I can get, love.”
“Spoiled. You’ve always been spoiled,” I grumbled as I flipped over.
He wasn’t deterred, spooning me and running his fingers along my thigh. “I love spoiling you too. You know it.”
“Except when you left me,” I whispered, hating it still hurt so much. “This has to stop, Julian.”
“No, no it doesn’t.”
I bit back a sigh. Of course my mind said that. I was happy here with him. There was one week left to break and then I would stop this. “Yes.”
“Yes? Yes, we can keep going?”
I shook my head. “What you asked me before.”
He took in a sharp breath before nibbling on my ear. “Were you going to lick me, love? Was my sweet fairy going to wrap her lips around my cock and suck me?”
“Yeah, but I chickened out and now I’m glad I did.”
But that was a lie. Even with the way things had all happened, I had thought many times that I wish I’d still done it with Craftsman, given him my first blow job.
And maybe then he’d have stayed. It was stupid as I knew that had nothing to do with any of what happened and he wasn’t that shallow… But pain isn’t logical.
“I can’t see your aura, but you don’t sound like that’s true,” he murmured. “I don’t deserve it, but I know you still love me. I’m selfish and want you to love me forever. I’ll deserve it and treat you as I should this time. Give me the chance, Tamsin.”
I blinked at him. I didn’t believe that at all. I knew that.
So why was he bringing this up? Why was my subconscious bringing this up?
Was this my closure? I could have this moment, even in a dream? As crazy as that seemed… It made sense. Finding out about my family was nothing like how I’d hoped. I was disappointed with the fairy I’d gotten. My relationship with Julian had ended and crushed me.
But this? Maybe I could have the first time I’d always wanted in my dreams. Maybe my mind was trying to give me something like I’d wanted.
Fuck it.
“I wanted to,” I confessed. “Even after you left me, I wished I’d given it to you. I wished…” I wasn’t going to admit I thought it might have made him stay. Even in my mind, saying that was too pathetic. “I want to here.”
His shock was amusing given this was all in my head.
I took advantage of it, flipping around so I was on top of him. I kissed all along his neck, knowing it was a hot spot for him too. Then I moved lower. I paid attention to his chest that was as muscular as always and down his abs that were more toned and defined than what I remembered.
Apparently, I was a bit shallow and wanted him in better shape?
Yeah, that was what I should focus on among all of this crazy.
I kissed and licked his hip bones, loving when he did that to me. Then I nuzzled his groin the way Darby loved, wondering if Julian would like that too.
Yes. The answer was a resounding yes.
Well, my dream Julian did.
“You don’t have to, love,” Julian whispered, swallowing loudly as if worried I might truly stop.
I winked at him. “It’s just a dream, right?” I didn’t give him time to respond, licking the head but then freezing as if something big was going to happen. I mean, sure, he got harder, but like… Somewhere in my mind I had thought the moment I gave a blow job, I would be demeaned.
Even in my dream I had expected that.
I mentally snickered at myself and licked him again. I frowned before glancing at him. “You don’t taste like me, but we had sex.”
He smirked at me. “I wouldn’t ever let you have something you might find distasteful, even in here.”
Fair enough.
I kept licking, smiling when he begged me for more. Oh, I might like this in real life if it drove men this crazy. I dipped my tongue in the slit as I pumped his cock, going faster when I could tell how much he liked it. Then I ran