shoot?” I shook my head. “How did I never know that?”
“He wasn’t any kind of pacifist or anything. He owned guns himself. It’s just another of the many things about my own father I’ll never understand.”
“I get that. At least your father didn’t…”
“Yeah. He wasn’t perfect, but I’ll let you win the shitty father award, though you may have to share it with Ruby.”
“Mathias was a shitty father to Ruby. That’s the thing, man. My father was good to me. That’s what I’m having a hard time with. It’s hard to reconcile, you know?”
“Yeah, I know. My father wasn’t who I thought he was either. And before you say it, yes, I know your situation is different. Worse. A lot worse.”
“I’m done saying that,” I said. “I just wish I didn’t feel so guilty about the good memories. I feel like I should erase him from my mind, from my life.”
“Have you talked to anyone yet?”
“You mean therapy? No.”
“I know a good one. She knows everything now anyway.”
“She’s your wife, Joe. Your pregnant wife.”
“She needs to keep working right now. I know her. This will get into her psyche, and she’ll work to keep herself from thinking about it.”
“You’re saying this could help both of us?”
“Yeah. That’s what I’m saying.”
I nodded. “Okay. She did wonders for Talon. She’s obviously the best.”
“That she is.”
“What was in your file, anyway?” I asked.
“A lot of nothing. Mostly invoices for farming equipment.”
“What would my father be doing with farm equipment?”
Joe chuckled. “You’re right. I work a ranch, so I didn’t think anything of it. But fuck it all. You’re right.”
“What kind of equipment?” I asked.
“Let’s take a look.” We walked back inside.
Again, that eerie feeling that invisible eyes watched me crackled along my skin like tiny gnats.
We walked to the office anyway, and Joe opened the file. “This is for a mini Bobcat.”
“What?”
“You know. You can rent them. It’s a little excavator. Like a mini bulldozer.”
“Why would my— Shit. You don’t think he buried Justin himself, do you?”
“I wouldn’t put it past him. What did he tell us? He was taking the body to the police, right? He could have just hidden it and come back and disposed of it later.”
“Oh my God. The floorboards. I was afraid when we started pulling them up that I’d find…”
“But you didn’t.”
“No, thank God. But he could be there. Somewhere.”
Joe went white. “This isn’t our fight. We were kids.”
“Then why do I feel so responsible?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I feel the same way. Like we were part of it.”
“We were,” I said, nausea sweeping up my throat. “We brought him there.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Marjorie
I was getting ready for bed when my phone buzzed.
Colin Morse.
Not a person I wanted to speak to ever, but he could have information. More likely, though, he’d be bothering me to talk to Jade again.
“What is it, Colin?” I said, a little more harshly than I meant to, into the phone.
“Hey, Marj. You called me, remember?”
Right. I’d forgotten. I’d called and left a voicemail, but I hadn’t mentioned Jade. Only that I needed to talk to him.
“You said you wanted to speak to me,” he said. “And I want to see you.”
“I thought you wanted to talk to Jade.”
“I changed my mind. She’s pregnant, and I don’t want—”
I cut him off. I was so tired of all of this. “What do you want?”
“I can’t talk over the phone. Can you meet me in town tonight?”
“You’re still in Snow Creek?”
“I’m staying at the hotel. You can meet me here.”
“And you’re not going to insist that I bring Jade along?”
“No. I said I changed my mind about that. It’s important.”
After our family meeting outside this evening, I wasn’t sure I could take anything more. I opened my mouth to tell him I’d see him sometime tomorrow but then thought again. He was willing to talk now. What if he changed his mind by tomorrow?
“All right.”
“Meet me at the bar in the hotel.”
“Sure. Give me a half hour or so. I’ll be there.” I ran a brush through my hair and pulled it into a high ponytail. Talon and Jade were both home for the evening, so the boys were taken care of. I was free as a bird.
I’d much rather be at the guesthouse with Bryce, but maybe I could finally get some information out of Colin. I knew him almost as well as Jade did, and in fact, I’d known him longer. I met him before my best friend while we were in