care.” Bryce looked straight ahead as he started the engine and drove off.
“Where are we going?” We couldn’t go to his place. His mother and Henry were there. His old place in town? No furniture.
He said nothing.
I cleared my throat, frantically searching for words that didn’t materialize in my brain. There was a hotel in town, but whoever was manning the front desk would know us, and then the gossip would start.
Not that I cared about gossip. But my brothers didn’t know about Bryce and me. We were adults, but still, there would be fallout.
Nuclear fallout.
I widened my eyes when Bryce turned off onto a different road than the one leading into Snow Creek. Where was he going?
Within a half hour, he pulled into a nearly invisible driveway where a small cabin stood.
“Here we are,” he said.
“Where is here?”
“This cabin. Joe and I stayed here as kids with”—he paused a moment—“my father.”
“Oh. Whose is it?”
“It’s mine now, I guess. It belonged to my father, and my mother wasn’t on the deed. My father left it to me in the will.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“I wasn’t sure I wanted it. I mean, this is where…”
“Where what?”
“Sometimes Joe and I stayed here with him during our camping trips. Other times we slept in tents.”
“So you have memories,” I said.
He nodded. “The thing is, the memories I have are mostly good.”
“Then cherish them, Bryce.”
“How can I? How can I when so many others have horrible memories related to my father? Talon? Colin? My cousin Luke?” He shook his head. “Sometimes I think Luke was the lucky one. He doesn’t have those horrible memories.”
“He’s dead, Bryce.”
“Maybe that’s a gift in itself.”
“Are you kidding me? Talon is alive, and he found love and he’s got two kids and one on the way. Do you really think he’d be better off dead?”
“Well…no.”
“And Colin? This is new for Colin, but he’s my age. He has his whole life ahead of him. He’ll get the help he needs, and he’ll have a life. I’m so sorry about Luke. I truly am. But neither Talon nor Colin would be better off dead.”
“What about Ruby’s friends? Juliet and Lisa? And Shayna?”
“First of all, Shayna escaped. She was traumatized, but she was never physically abused. She’s doing well. And Ruby told me that Juliet and Lisa are in therapy. It’s a struggle, yes, but they’re both younger than Colin. They will be okay. According to Ruby, they’re both happy to be alive.”
He stared straight ahead, his headlights still on and focused on the small cabin.
“And Bryce,” I said, “you’re alive too. Don’t ever forget that. Don’t let the guilt eat you. It’s not your fault that you weren’t abused by your father.”
He turned to me. “I know. Joe and I have talked about it.”
“Have you talked to a professional?”
“No. Not yet, anyway. Melanie offered, but she’s Joe’s wife. It feels…weird.”
“If it helps, I’ve talked to Melanie professionally. She’s amazing.”
“You?”
“Of course me. Do you think you’re the only one who came out of this mess scathed?”
“I certainly don’t think that. You know I don’t think that. But you… You always seem so together. So whole.”
I couldn’t help a sarcastic laugh. The wound on my thigh was still healing. “Don’t belittle what any one of us has gone through.”
“I’m not. It’s just—”
“It’s just you feeling sorry for yourself, Bryce. That’s all it is.”
“You don’t know everything, Marjorie.”
“I never said I did. But we’re all fighting our own battles, and none of them can be compared.”
“Damn it!” He punched the steering wheel.
“Hey.” I touched his forearm in an attempt to soothe him. “Let it go.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“None of this is easy for me to say. You know that. There comes a time, though, when you have to grow up and tell yourself that this isn’t going to color the rest of your life. You have to decide what you want in life and go after it.”
“And that’s what you’re doing? Leaving your family for Paris?”
I nodded past the lump in my throat. “Yes. That’s what I’m doing.”
“I call bullshit, Marj.”
I said nothing for a few seconds, just digested his words.
I call bullshit.
“It’s not bullshit,” I finally said. “It’s what I want.”
That wasn’t a lie. I did want cooking school. I did want Paris. I wanted all of those things. Just because I wanted other things as well didn’t negate them.
“You’re running away.”
“No. There’s a difference between running away from something and running toward something. You know my dream is to study