thing could've ended up much worse and we’re lucky that it turned out as well as it did.
Still, I have to tell Mom something about Tyler, right?
No one is supposed to know that we’re together and though I know that I needed to help my mom, I also know that she has a history of not being the most reliable person.
I decide to tell my mom to wait outside so that I can talk to Tyler alone.
She hesitates, but eventually agrees.
“Tyler! Tyler!” I walk around the cabin, but he is nowhere to be found.
Maybe he just went on another walk?
No, something seems off.
I check the bedroom again and see that my backpack is missing along with… All of his stuff.
No, he couldn't have… I don't let myself finish the thought.
When I get back to the kitchen, I see that the cupboard where we had the money is open.
I remember closing it specifically and now I realize that Tyler must have found out that I took the money.
I check my phone again.
There’re a lot of missed calls and text messages from him. I didn't call him back as soon as we got out of the van because I didn't want him to worry.
I thought that I would just come back here and explain everything in person.
“Is everything okay?” Mom asks through the door.
“No, not really,” I say, opening it.
“What happened?”
“He's gone,” I say.
“Your boyfriend?”
“Yes,” I say, sitting down on the couch.
I start to shake and I begin to cry. I bury my head and my palms and press my head to my knees.
Mom drapes her arm around me and gives me a warm embrace. I don't remember the last time my mom held me like this or even the last time that I cried.
We haven't talked in a long time and, frankly, I had given up on her.
“I'm so sorry. I shouldn’t be crying,” I say, trying to wipe my tears away.
They stream down my face and I eventually just give up and let them flow through me. I'm crying for Tyler, but it's not just about Tyler.
There's this entire release of energy and emotions that have been building up in the pit of my stomach. I know that I did the right thing, but I also know that I have betrayed him.
That's why he left.
He took everything that belongs to him and most of the food out of the refrigerator.
He didn't have a car, so how far could he have gone?
When I calm down a little bit, I grab my phone and call him. A prudent curt message says that this phone has been disconnected.
I shake my head.
“Why did he leave?” I ask, not so much my mom, but the universe.
The problem is that I already know the answer. He left because I’m a liar and he can’t trust me. The only thing that we had is our trust.
The minute that he found out that I took his lifeline, I took all of his money, he knew that I was compromised. He knew that if he wanted to make it out of here alive, he couldn't trust me.
Suddenly, a second round of tears starts to flow out of me. I hate that he thinks this about me.
I hate that he thinks that I betrayed him. I would never betray him.
I love him. I took his money, but I did it to save my mom.
I stand up and start to pace around the room trying to get out some of the energy that's being cooped up within me.
After a few moments, I feel like I'm about to explode.
Mom keeps trying to tell me something, but I push her away. I can’t hear her, can’t process anything right now except for my own dark feelings of regret and remorse.
I look at my phone and I want to throw it against the wall. Why didn't I answer my calls?
I was afraid of his wrath but should have been more afraid of his disappointment.
Now he’s cut off his phone. He probably thinks that I'm working with the cops and that I'll use it to track him.
He thinks that I have betrayed him and no matter what I do, I can't get that thought out of my mind.
I don't know what to do now. I keep pacing like a caged animal and I don't realize how much time has passed until my mom comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her.
“Do you have any clothes that I can borrow?” she asks.
I nod,