feel the same way about you.”
“It changes a man’s perspective, fighting does. Makes him appreciate the things he had when life was ordinary.”
“Yes, I imagine so.” I set the tray on the table near the sofa and then looked up at him, caught by the somber tone of his words. There had never been a solemn bone in his body, and I found it was unsettling. I supposed war never left men unscathed, not even men like Felix.
He had lit a cigarette while I was in the kitchen, and he blew out a stream of smoke, watching it rise into the air.
“But let’s talk of gayer things,” he said, the old Felix suddenly restored. “I want to hear all about what you’ve been doing with yourself while I’ve been gone.”
I made his tea the same way he had always taken it, with sugar and milk, while I debated on how much I should tell him about the predicament with Major Ramsey. I would trust Felix with my life, but I was certain Major Ramsey would not feel the same way, so I decided to keep it to myself for now.
“I’ve been helping Uncle Mick with the shop. Business isn’t as good as it once was.”
“Not so many people worried about opening locks when a bomb might blow them open any day, eh?”
I gave him a grim smile as I handed him his teacup. “Something like that, I suppose.”
“And what about the other business?” Felix knew what sort of things we got up to on the wrong side of the law. He’d been involved in a few of our capers over the years.
“That’s been slow as well,” I said. “But we’re getting on all right.”
“I’d never bet against your Uncle Mick.”
“No,” I agreed, retaking my seat beside him, cup and saucer in hand. “How long is your leave?”
“I’m afraid it may be indefinite.”
I felt a surge of relief, as though a knot in my chest had eased ever so slightly. “You mean you won’t have to go back to the Continent?”
“A part of me is still there, in a manner of speaking.” He reached down and pulled the hem of his left trouser leg slightly up.
“Oh!” I gasped, the cup rattling in the saucer. The lower portion of his left leg was gone, replaced with an artificial limb that looked to be made of tin.
“I took a rather destructive round to the shin. There was no salvaging the leg. Or my career in the navy, I’m afraid.”
“Oh, Felix.” I reached to set my cup on the table with a shaking hand. “I’m so sorry.”
All at once, the weight of everything seemed to hit me, and I couldn’t stop the tears that suddenly began to fall.
He reached out to cup my face, brushing a tear aside with his thumb. “Don’t cry, sweet. It’s not as bad as all that.”
I covered his hand with mine, relishing the nearness of him, the utter relief that he was sitting here on my sofa, safe. To think how close to death he had been …
“Everything’s so dreadful,” I whispered. “This war, and Toby, and you…”
“Ellie, look at me,” he said gently.
I raised my eyes to his. They were dark and warm, his gaze that strange mixture of familiar and unfathomable that had always drawn me to him.
“It’s going to be all right,” he said. “All of it.”
As our eyes held, I had a sense of the rightness and harmony that existed between us, the way we seemed to be able to communicate in a manner that went deeper than words. Not even his months of absence had changed that. If anything, I felt it stronger than before.
I knew in that moment that he wanted to kiss me, but instead he took his hand from my face and sat back against the sofa, putting distance between us in more ways than one. “Now, how about some more tea? Tea always makes everything a bit better, doesn’t it?”
I sniffed, wiping away the remnants of my tears, and reached for the teapot. He was right, of course. Everything would work out in time. There was nothing to be done but to carry on.
“Does it hurt very much?” I asked.
“Not anymore.” He flashed a smile at me, as though to distract me from the grim experiences those words held. “And my left leg was one of my least charming parts, at least.”
I gave a strangled little laugh, trying to regain my composure. “That may be, but all the same…”
He gave