She didn’t want to name him yet. It would be harder to lose a baby with a name, that’s what everyone always said; but that wasn’t the real reason, because the baby would be born. The idea was more than hope, more than belief. Mausami knew it for a fact. And when the baby was born, when he’d made his loud and painful entry into the world, Theo would be there, and they would name their son together.
This place. The Haven. It made her so tired. All she could do was sleep. And eat. It was the baby, of course; it was the baby that made her think about eating all the time. After all the hardtack and bean paste, and that awful strange food they’d found in the bunker—hundred-year-old goop vacuumed in plastic; it was a miracle they hadn’t all poisoned themselves—how amazing to have real food. Beef and milk. Bread and cheese. Actual butter so creamy it made the top of her throat tickle. She shoveled it in, then licked her fingers clean. She could have stayed in this place forever, just for the food.
They’d all felt it right away: something wasn’t right. Last night, all those women crowding around her, holding babies or pregnant themselves—some actually both—their faces beaming with a sisterly glow at the discovery that she was pregnant too. A baby! How wonderful! When was she due? Was it her first? Were any of the other women in their group also with child? It hadn’t occurred to her at the time to wonder how they’d known—she was barely showing, after all—nor why none had asked who the father was or mentioned the fathers of their own children.
The sun was down. The last thing Mausami remembered was lying down for a nap. Peter and the others were probably in the other hut, deciding what to do. The baby was moving again, flipping around inside her. She lay with her eyes closed and let the sensation fill her. Standing the Watch: it seemed like years ago. A different life. That was what happened, she knew, when a person had a baby. This strange new being grew inside you and by the time it was all over, you were someone different, too.
Suddenly she realized: she wasn’t alone.
Amy was sitting on the bunk next to hers. Spooky, the way she could make herself invisible like that. Mausami rolled to face her, tucking her knees to her chest as the baby went thump-thump inside her.
“Hey,” Maus said, and yawned. “I guess I took a little nap there.”
Everybody was always talking that way around Amy, stating the obvious, filling the silence of the girl’s half of the conversation. It was a little unnerving, the way she looked at you with that intense gaze, as if she were reading your thoughts. Which was when Mausami realized what the girl was really looking at.
“Oh. I get it,” she said. “You want to feel it?”
Amy cocked her head, uncertain.
“You can if you want. Come on, I’ll show you.”
Amy rose, taking a place on the edge of Mausami’s cot. Mausami held her hand and guided it to the curve of her belly. The girl’s hand was warm and a little damp; the tips of her fingers were surprisingly soft, not like Mausami’s, which were callused from years of the bow.
“Just wait a minute. He was flipping around in there a second ago.”
A bright flicker of movement. Amy drew her hand away quickly, startled.
“You feel that?” Amy’s eyes were wide with pleasant shock. “It’s okay, that’s what they do. Here—” She took Amy’s hand and pressed it to her belly once more. At once the baby flipped and kicked. “Whoa, that was a strong one.”
Amy was smiling too now. How strange and wonderful, Mausami thought, in the midst of everything, all that had happened, to feel a baby moving inside her. A new life, a new person, coming into the world.
Mausami heard it then. Two words.
He’s here.
She yanked her hand away, scurrying up the cot so she was sitting with her back pushed to the wall. The girl was looking at her with a penetrating stare, her eyes filling Maus’s vision like two shining beams.
“How did you do that?” She was shaking; she thought she might be ill.
He’s in the dream. With Babcock. With the Many.
“Who’s here, Amy?”
Theo. Theo is here.
FIFTY-ONE
He was Babcock and he was forever. He was one of Twelve and also the Other, the one above and behind, the Zero. He was the