I’m going to say to them. Calling them beforehand was a good idea since my dad had a golf date scheduled. Thankfully he canceled since he knew I was coming. Gripping the steering wheel, I’m playing out my conversation with them in my head.
I want to shout, yell, scream, and holler. But knowing that none of that will help, I need to find a way not to get that upset. My mom asked me over and over why the urgency when I called, but I gave her no indication the reason for my visit. If I gave them an idea as to why I want to see them, they would use the time it takes me to get there to formulate a defense, it’s what they do.
Pulling into the driveway, all of my anger I had bottled up ready to unleash on them is slowly wavering. Sitting in my car, looking at the white two story house, I feel like I’m the girl back in high school. Thirty minutes ago I couldn’t wait to get here, right now I’m dying to leave. Slamming my car door, I’m somewhat choked up knowing how differently things could have been if my parents would have just told me Micah or even Matt came to see me. All my heartache, all my pain, and yet, they said nothing. Angrily, I’m biting back tears. More upset than ever for what grief they put me through. Mentally cursing them, I unintentionally slam the front door and I’m engulfed with the smell of cinnamon rolls and coffee. Yep, my mom, is pulling out all the stops today. My two favorite things. Question is, why on earth did she make them? Perhaps her way of bribing me in some way. Well, the only thing it does it make me more upset. Maybe she was already knows my visit was going to be less than pleasant.
Mom comes around the corner of the kitchen, smiling from ear to ear, and pulls me into an embrace. She’s a few inches taller than me, but we do resemble one another. Same hair and eye color, even the round shape of our faces. Looking at her I can get the idea how I’ll look when I’m older.
“Hello mother, how are you?” I say placing a timid pat on her back. She’s tense, because we normally aren’t a touchy-feely family. That all changed when I was sixteen.
She’s rubbing my back, giddy as ever. “I’m so happy you came home for a visit.” She’s pointing to the counter. “Got coffee and cinnamon rolls just for you.”
Her over joyous welcome is a nice touch, but it’s not her usual style. Yep, she knows something is up.
“Well, there she is.” My dad says sweetly, walking in behind me. My dad is a tall, thin man. He’s aged well. Both my parents are in their sixties, but for the most part are in decent health. He’s not built by any means, just in good shape.
Turning my head around, I’m not sure if I want to cry or smile. “Dad.” I don’t say more than that, and he takes notice.
Tilting his head, he draws me against him. “I’m better now that you are here. You don’t stop by much anymore.” The slight hesitant pause he had before he spoke was odd. The fact I never asked him how he was is another odd thing.
I wonder why!
This small talk goes on for some time. We sip our coffee, nibble on the cinnamon rolls, but time for small talk is closing… quickly.
“Um, I need to speak with you both about something. Some of which, you may not want to talk about.” My eyes go between them waiting to see any emotion from them.
My dad's eyebrows arch and my mother stares at her coffee, but her eyes twitch a few times.
“Okay,” his word lingers as his eyes show slight concern. He starts tapping his finger against his coffee cup.
“Why did you never tell me that Matt or Micah came to see me? That they talked with you, why not tell me? Why lie?” I keep my questions coming not even waiting for an answer.
My dad’s face reddens; he’s not happy or prepared. Accusingly, he keeps his glare on me. “What lie? I told you no lies, I call it watching out for your best interests. Like always. I’ve done it before and will do it again if need be.” He said that so fast and matter of fact, it’s like he’s rehearsed