finger towards the living room. “This may be fucked up, but if I had my choice…I would choose you, always you.”
With my mouth held open, I gasp holding my trembling fingers to my lips. “What about Liza?” I whisper.
Micah smiles with a deep sigh. “I care for Liza, and up till today, I was developing deeper feelings for her. Then suddenly, the girl I never stopped loving, walked back into my life. Hard to just walk away from that, pretty girl.” His eyes dare me, his lips call to me and his head shakes at me.
Sobbing, my voice cracks, “We can’t,” I say continuing to shake my head as if disagreeing with him wholeheartedly. “You have Liza, and up until last weekend I was alone and sad. I gave you my final goodbye, I finally let Nick inside. Now, I’m confused and pissed and happy as hell you are here in front of me. What the hell am I to do with that, Micah?” I can’t help but sit on my bed allowing my body to shake. An inner war consumes me. How do I just turn my feelings off for Nick, but then again, how do I just walk away, knowing Micah is back?
“Show me, Elsa,” Micah says with a reluctant sigh.
Confused, I angle my head, unsure of what he meant. “Show you what?”
He then points to his hip. “Your tattoo, what did you get to remember me by?
Oh no, he’s getting too close, no way in hell am I showing him that. Not sure why or how he remembers why I got a tattoo, then Liza’s conversations remind me how and why.
My eyes gaze long into his, pleading. “I can’t Micah, please don’t ask that of me. It’s more for me than anyone else.”
“I’m shattered knowing you’ve been in so much pain. Baby, I want to make it better. I want you to give me a chance to make it all better.”
My head screams at me ‘Hell No.'
“I can’t.” Knowing my heart is also screaming at me, ‘stupid, wake up he is finally here.’
“I need to wrap my head around all of this, our decisions also affect two great people. Do you remember you’re with Liza?”
“Pretty girl, I’m here for you, always. Like I said, even if it’s only as friends. I’ll be the best goddamn friend you’ll ever have. Just know I’m not walking away from you again, not ever…again.”
His arm around my shoulder is his way of letting me know he’s serious. Resting my head against his chest, I close my eyes and breathe him in deep. The calming effect he has on me, is beyond the best I’ve felt in five long years.
“Thanks for telling me your story, knowing you did care for me, even though it hurts like hell, means a lot. At least I know I was not crazy.” Just knowing he loved me, gives me a small amount of satisfaction.
Breathing deeply, Micah says, “Never crazy. I never went a day without you crossing my mind. Please know that.”
“Okay.”
“I better go out there before Nick comes storming in here.” He says with a slight laugh.
Turning, I move to get a better look at him. “What do we tell them?” I say with a nod of my head toward the living room.
“Nothing,” he says with a shake of his head.
“What?” I ask snapping my head back.
“Let's just leave it as we had a talk that was five years overdue. That simple.” Micah kisses the top of my head. “Just know, I carry some deep seated feelings for you. I’m here for you Elsa, always.”
I tenderly respond. “Thank you for that, Micah.” I give him my most genuine smile. For now, I feel okay with all of this.
“Just remember, I’m here for you, if you’re ever, ready to pick up the pieces of what we had before. I’m not sure how things will turn out with Liza, knowing you’re back in my life. Just know this, none of what happens with her is your fault. I just can’t promise she’s my future.”
I don’t reply, because I have no words. There goes my okay feeling. To be honest, my heart is too preoccupied with my unstable emotions to worry about theirs. I have to consider my well-being, first and foremost. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want Nick or Liza hurt, but Micah needs to try at least to get me out of his head. Any promises of what could be, need to be forgotten. Too