want to help.”
“Your whole family’s into helping people, huh?”
I didn’t know what to say, so I reached into the cabinet where the O’Sullivans keep their mugs.
It was strange—I’d imagined talking to Tammy in person so many times, but now that she was here, an awkward strain hovered between us. I was used to carefully thinking out what I wanted to tell her, crafting exactly the right sentences in my head before I picked up my pen, but now that we were talking, really talking, it felt like starting over from scratch.
When I turned around again, Tammy’s eyes were closed.
“If you want to tell me what happened, you could.” I kept my voice low, even though there was no one to hear. Mrs. O’Sullivan’s bedroom was at the back of the house, and I hadn’t seen her come out of it during the day yet that summer.
Tammy opened her eyes slowly. “I don’t know where to start. Everything just suddenly turned to shit.”
Hearing Tammy curse out loud was jarring. “What kind of, um, shit?”
“It was all my fault. God.” She sighed and scrubbed her hand over her face. “I was stupid. So stupid.”
I wanted to give her a hug, but I didn’t know if she’d want that. She was my best friend, sort of, but technically, we’d just met. And we’d never touched at all. “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it.”
“Yeah, I do.” She rubbed her damp hands on her designer pants. “I’ve been going over it in my head nonstop. Talking about it would be a nice change.”
She dropped her gaze to the linoleum floor and hopped onto the counter, tucking one of her long legs underneath her and dropping her chin into her hands. As upset as she clearly was, I still couldn’t stop thinking…
Tammy’s here. Right now. That’s really, truly her.
“It started yesterday, in Math,” she said after a long moment. “My teacher told me I had to go to the principal’s office. When I got there, Carolyn was inside with her mom. My mom was there, too, with Aunt Mandy.”
I sucked in a breath. “They found out about you and Carolyn?”
Tammy leaned her head back and stared up at the fluorescent lights. “I can’t believe I thought we wouldn’t get caught.”
“What happened?”
“They…” She shut her eyes again and rubbed her forehead. “They found it.”
“It? Oh—your collage?”
She nodded slowly. “They’d done a locker search. Apparently some seniors were stealing exams and they were looking for evidence, and…it doesn’t matter. What matters is, they found it.”
“Oh, my gosh.”
“I don’t think the principal spoke the whole time we were in that room.” She fixed her eyes on the coffeepot. “He let Aunt Mandy do the talking. She isn’t even on the school staff anymore, but they all still treat her as if she’s God incarnate. She said Carolyn’s mom had noticed her acting strangely the past few months, and—”
Tammy cut herself off. “I hate to bother you, but do you think I could have some of that coffee?”
“Oh, yes. Of course. I was making it for you.” I hurried to get a mug, but Tammy lowered herself from the counter and beat me to it. She poured a cup, blew on the surface, and took a sip without putting in any milk or sugar first.
Was that how she always drank her coffee? I had no idea. There was so much I didn’t know about her.
“The teachers found the collage in her locker.” Tammy blinked twice, leaning back against the counter again and lifting her cup for another sip. “They saw the message I wrote. That was enough to make them call Carolyn into the office, and her mom, too. They thought a guy had given it to her at first, but they got the truth out of her somehow. Then they called in my mom, and my aunt. Then it was my turn.”
Tammy closed her eyes. Her lower lip was trembling. I wondered if she was going to cry.
“Oh, my gosh,” I said. “That’s—that’s not good.”