time—Any Lizzo or Taylor Swift song
Oliver: For when you need to remember my love—You Are the Reason, Calum Scott
The last song made me cry, but it wasn’t sad tears. It was tears of love. So, even though I knew I couldn’t be with Oliver now as I worked through my issues, I sent him a song as a reminder of my love for him.
Emery: For when you need to remember my love—Heart Stamps, Alex & Oliver
Each day the songs kept coming my way, and I played every one on repeat. Even though for now Oliver and I had to keep our distance, I swore I could feel his love as the lyrics of the songs danced within my soul.
37
OLIVER
I didn’t know if what I was doing made any sense, but in my gut, I knew I had to try my best. As I pulled into Randall, Oregon, I was determined to track Emery’s sister down. It didn’t take long for me to find out where Emery’s parents lived, and once I’d learned that, I was able to find Sammie.
It was midday when I pulled up to their house, and I was thankful when I knocked that Sammie answered the door instead of Emery’s parents. Don’t get me wrong: I would’ve stood up to their father again, but he wasn’t my target for the day—Sammie was.
“Oliver Smith,” she muttered, looking stunned as she stood in front of me. “What . . . I . . .”
“You’re Sammie?” I asked, holding my hand out for her to shake. She took it, and shook, allowing me to feel the trembles in her grip. “It’s nice to meet you.”
She stared blankly, shocked, as if I were a ghost or something.
Her fingernails scratched at her forearms for a bit. “What are you doing here?”
“I think you know why I’m here. I came to talk to you.”
“To me? Why would you do that? I’m nobody.”
The way the words fell from her mouth hurt me, because she’d spoken the word “nobody” as if she truly believed it.
“You’re somebody to a lot of people. Especially your sister, Emery. I’m here because she probably believes she can’t be. I just didn’t want to do nothing while her world was falling apart.”
“What do you have to do with Emery?” she asked, looking baffled. “I mean, I know she works for you, but . . .”
I narrowed my eyes. “Your parents didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Emery and I have been dating for a while now. Your parents were planning to use me against Emery to take her to court over Reese.”
“You’re . . . Emery’s dating you? You as in Oliver Smith? No way.”
I smiled. “We were dating, until your parents, well . . . you know . . .”
Her eyes glassed over, and I noticed so many parts of her sister that lived in her features. “I don’t get why they would do that, though. They promised they wouldn’t fight dirty. They just wanted what they thought was best for Reese. They promised . . .”
“How many promises have they broken to you?” I asked.
She remained quiet.
“How many promises has Emery broken to you?”
Her head lowered. “None.”
I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes. “Sammie . . . do you want Reese back in your life? Do you want to be her mother?”
She glanced around the streets as if she was afraid of someone listening, before she shook her head. “I’m sorry, I need you to go. I can’t be talking to you. This is too much. I can’t do this.” She turned to reenter her house as I called out to her.
“It wasn’t your fault.” She paused her footsteps yet didn’t turn to face me again. Her shoulders deflated, and I repeated those same words once more. “It wasn’t your fault.”
With the slowest movement, the broken girl had enough strength to turn around and face me. Her shoulders were rounded forward, and the heaviest part of her soul sat right there in her eyes, which matched Emery’s. I didn’t know how, but I knew right then and there that guilt had been the thing eating her alive each day. I knew that she’d been swallowed whole by demons.
I’d been swallowed, too, yet nowhere near as long as she’d had to face the darkness. I was lucky to have stopped falling before I spiraled too far. But Sammie? She’d been spiraling for five years. Her life had been stolen from her, and then she was told that she was to