inside, he opened the back door for Patrick and Tess and then ran around to the driver’s seat. A motorcycle cop, lights flashing, led the procession. Tony pulled directly behind the hearse. The short drive to the cemetery passed in silence, each person lost in his/her own thoughts and prayers. Erin glanced over her shoulder and out the rear window. Cars stretched as far as the eye could see. Again, tears welled in her eyes. So many people coming to pay their respects.
Tony parked the car, offered his arm and led her to a folding chair under a canopy. Patrick and Tess followed.
I’m placing one foot in front of the other. I’m sitting calmly with my hands in my lap. I didn’t know our bodies came equipped with automatic pilot. Or is that you, Carol? Are you pushing me, pulling me, making me do everything right so I don’t ruin your big send-off?
The minister stood at the head of the grave and waited for everyone to gather.
Erin couldn’t believe this was happening. She stared straight ahead, unable to wrap her mind around it. Her best friend, her soul sister, was inside that ornately etched casket. She’d never see her again. Never be able to string popcorn or sit together and talk. Never laugh with her over the children’s antics. Never be with her again. A sob clenched her throat, stealing her breath.
Don’t worry about Amy, Carol. I’ll take good care of her. I promise.
The funeral director handed Erin a red carnation to place on the casket after the ceremony. You’re not truly gone, Carol. You’ll always be with me. Inside my memories. Inside my heart. And inside that precious little girl you’ve left in my care. Every time she smiles at me, I’ll see a part of you. The best part of you. I’ll see your heart.
The minister looked over at Erin for permission to start. She nodded. He cleared his throat, opened his Bible and began to pray, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…”
Holding the binoculars to his face, the man watched the proceedings. After a few minutes, boredom made him lower them. It wasn’t any fun watching from all the way over here. He wanted to be at the gravesite but couldn’t take the chance. On television, the police expect the killer to show up. They pretend to be mourners, watch the crowd and try to identify “a person of interest.” He was too smart for their tricks.
He thought about Carol. He had kept her alive longer than the others. She had needed extra punishment. Everybody thought she was so sweet and nice. But he knew better. She could be mean. Very, very mean. He made her sorry for the way she acted in the hospital cafeteria. He made her sorry for everything.
He giggled. Carol had been so excited about her date that night. She’d been so preoccupied with checking her makeup for the millionth time in a silly little hand mirror that she hadn’t heard him approach. She looked surprised to see him when he stepped out of the shadows. The memory of her expression made him giggle. She was mad that he had startled her. Then, she got scared. Real scared. His giggles became a laugh.
He lifted the binoculars, focused in tighter and stared at Erin. More giggles escaped his lips. In a childlike chant, he sang, “It’s your turn. It’s your turn. Come out and play with me.”
“I’m sorry about Carol. We’ll miss her.” The hospital administrator and his wife paused by the front door and offered their condolences.
“Thank you. And thank you both for coming.” Erin ushered them through the open doorway.
Small groups of people still lingered around the food-laden dining room table and others wandered in and out of the house. Many of them Erin had barely recognized. She tried to be a gracious hostess but found herself wondering if they came to pay their respects or if the notoriety of Carol’s death brought them out to gawk and gossip. She nodded and politely smiled whenever someone caught her eye, but she avoided conversation while she walked through the rooms and down the hall to check on the children.
Erin eased open the bedroom door and stepped inside. Jack had kicked off his blanket. Bending down, she picked it up, tucked it back around him and kissed his forehead. Stepping across to the other twin bed, Erin stared down at Amy. The child’s thumb rested loosely between her partially opened lips.