the finale gets out.”
She sat straighter. “Never. I am honored that you trusted me with this. And I think the producers were stupid as hell to drop you. Anya and Arasmus were my favorite part of the show!” She clasped my hand. “What will you do now?”
“I don’t know. Find a new role.” I glanced at both Tina and Amalie and cringed. “It’s part of the business, but I can’t help feeling a bit lost—or maybe just at a crossroads.”
“That is life, my dear.” Amalie poured more wine into my empty glass. “Life doesn’t remain the same. It shifts and turns, and we must shift with it. Which isn’t a bad thing. How boring would it be to never see any change?”
“I thought I liked change, but now? Not so much. Not when it comes in the face of failure.”
Amalie sat back and regarded me with fond eyes. “Failure is simply opportunity in disguise. I do not know of a single success story that did not have its share of failures along the way. We try, we grow, sometimes we fail. You either crumble and stop living life, or you pick yourself up and use the experience to set a new course.”
Her words bubbled through me, stirring something that felt a lot like hope.
Amalie’s gaze turned inward. “To live is to adapt. We’re constantly reinventing ourselves. Don’t be afraid of failure or change, loves; it means you’re alive.”
Unwittingly, my thoughts moved to Lucian, and my heart clenched. Because I knew Amalie was thinking of him just then and worrying. I didn’t want to worry about Lucian, too, but I did. He was hiding from life, even more than I was. From the glimpses he’d let me see of the real him, I knew that if any man needed to live life to the fullest, it was him. More unsettling was the fact that I wanted to be there when he did. Because Lucian living completely in the moment made me feel utterly alive as well.
For the rest of the evening, they delighted me with old stories and funny observations. Tina calmed down enough not to stare at me every few seconds and proceeded to beat me soundly in poker. And though I laughed and relaxed, Lucian was there, in the back of my mind, nudging along my spine.
Which was why, despite all my best intentions, I found myself putting on my bikini and heading for the pool in the dark of night.
I was no better than a teen sneaking out in hopes that my crush would hear me and show up. I knew this and berated myself for it, and still I toed off my sandals and undid my bathing wrap. My hands actually shook with nerves when I set my things on a lounger.
The pool house was dark, the french doors closed up tight. Maybe he was asleep. Maybe he’d left the property. But the pool light was on, producing a soft glow.
With as much grace as possible, I dove into the water. It was warm enough to soothe my skin, and despite my original mission, I started to swim, getting into the rhythm of the exercise.
On my fifth lap, as I reached the end of the pool, the sound of Édith Piaf caught my attention. La Vie en Rose. Heart skipping a beat, I stopped and turned around. Lucian stood at the other end, the wavering light of the pool casting shadows over his face. I shouldn’t have been surprised; I’d wanted him to show up, after all. But a surge of adrenaline hit me like a drug, and my dreary night sparked with promise.
I was so gone on this man. It wasn’t even funny.
His lips tilted in a small smile. “Thought you should get the full effect and listen to Édith while you swim.”
“Shouldn’t I be naked if I want the full effect of night swimming with Édith?” Yes, I was shameless.
His narrowed gaze said as much. But he didn’t bolt. No, he stared me down with those stern eyes. “I’m certainly not going to stop you. But be forewarned, Brommy and Anton are out here somewhere.”
Clever Lucian. Now, if I followed through with my teasing threat, I would be saying that I didn’t mind anyone seeing me. If I didn’t, I was making it clear that I wanted only him to see me that way.
Resting my elbows on the edge of the pool, I slowly treaded water with my legs. “Why don’t you join me?”
“I’m not