Petra, it’s different,” I tell him to avoid any misunderstandings in the future. “We are not into that.”
“Why not?” After being so open with him for the past twenty years, his curiosity doesn’t surprise me. “You were quite into that before.”
Once we get in the car and close our respective doors, I reply, “I promised Roy I wouldn’t…” But the rest of the sentence gets stuck in my throat—I just can’t bring myself to finish it. “You know…”
“Discipline her?”
Jeez, that simple question is enough to make me grow hard. And for a brief moment of pleasure and guilt, I let my mind wander to what I could possibly do to her bare bottom later on. Petra’s got such a beautiful butt, her rounded cheeks are so firm, pale, and soft to the touch. My pulse ticks up picturing her buttocks blotchy and deeply red. Fuck, and no one has ever done that to her before… Closing my eyes for a second, I hear the song of her whining as she endures every swat. Then I imagine the burning sting left on each cheek as she tries to reach back to alleviate the pain… Fuck… What I wouldn’t do to see her so chastened like that… Before my erection gets too visible, I snap, “That part of me belongs to the past.” And shutting down those thoughts, I draw in a deep breath and exhale before turning on the engine of the car. Pulling out, I leave the parking spot and focus on driving.
“Are you alright?” Sebastian’s inquisitive eyes are all over me, but I keep mine straight on the road. Then I press the brake as we wait for the gates in front of us to open.
“Yeah…” And smiling at him, I say, “It’s good to see you.”
Once the gates are wide open, I look down at the GPS and start following the road in the direction of the land located in Sullivan County that we leased for the hunt. After a few minutes of silence, though, I hear him asking, “You want to talk about it?”
Does it look like I want to? My first instinct is to snap back a resounding no, but I know that Sebastian is just trying to understand me better. I can’t blame him for worrying about my sudden change. Apart from Roy, Sebastian has always been someone I can trust and confine in. He’s my brother-in-law after all. But unlike Roy, we’ve got the same upbringing, the same education, the same background, the same connections in the Netherlands, and the same title. And while I love Roy as a friend, Sebastian is like the older brother I never had. And I must confess, I couldn’t have imagined my sister getting married to anyone but him.
“It’s better if I don’t,” I tell him more politely as I turn left, following the GPS route.
But Sebastian can read me like no one else. “Did you speak to her about it?” I can’t find the will to answer his question though. And Sebastian knows it. “I mean, she’s gonna be your wife. Don’t you think she should know about your previous lifestyle?”
“I told you—it belongs in the past.”
“Van Dieren…” he teases with a smile. “I know you better than you do.”
“I’ve changed,” I lie. But it’s better to tell him that. “I can live without it.”
“Alright. If you say so… Good luck with that.” He turns his head to his side, observing through the car window the many trees covering miles and miles ahead on either side of the road. Letting out a sigh, Sebastian seems to be engrossed in his thoughts as he starts shaking his head.
Curiosity getting the best of me, I ask him with a chuckle, “You sighing at the view?”
“It’s just…” Turning his face to me, he observes me quietly for a moment before fessing up, “Man, I can’t believe you’re getting married. It feels weird, ya know. I never thought you’d ever settle down.”
“Oh,” I utter, not expecting such a direct answer. “I always told you I would.”
“Yeah, but she was seven at the time.” We share a laugh, recalling the day I told him about the incident at Roy’s house.
“Well, I promised her I’d marry her, and I like to keep my promises. You know that.” Keeping my hands on the steering wheel, I turn right, and, according to the GPS, we should be nearly there.
Sebastian presses his lips together, considering me. “What if she’d have fallen in love with someone else