with muted interest as I worked.
When he was hard again, I dug another condom out of the drawer and rolled it over him. Then, I climbed onto him and sank down. I had to stop midway to adjust to the deep angle.
I rocked back and forth, pinned to him, my throbbing center dragging across his skin until I felt the slow tightening of my muscles. Pleasure spilled from me as I rode him.
Spencer reached to me and gripped my hips, coaxing me faster. He drove deeper into me until I was wound around him so tightly I thought I’d break. “I’m the only one who can make you feel this way.”
His words snapped my taut core, and I unraveled like a spool of delicate thread.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I woke up to the sound of Spencer snoring softly next to me and a mild headache. Untangling myself from him, I got out of bed as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake him. In the harsh light of dawn, all my choices seemed wrong. Flashes of the prior evening hit me as I gathered my clothes and snuck into the living room. I was relieved to see that it was empty. The curry rested, forgotten, on the counter. I waited for my stomach to remind me that I hadn’t eaten, but it was too knotted up for me to feel even an ounce of hunger.
Shame flooded through me as I considered what I’d done. How was I supposed to feel toward either of them now? How would I look them in the eyes? Eliza had been wrong. This had not made things easier. It had only made them more complicated. I might not have slept with both brothers, but I’d never done anything like that before. I’d never even considered doing something like that before. I wanted to blame the alcohol for my rash decision, but I couldn’t help wondering if it had only made it easier to do exactly what I wanted to do all along. I ignored the pang of desire I felt at the memory of how it felt to have Spencer’s hands on me while Holden’s cock was in my mouth. I remembered everything I had said to them. I remembered how I egged them on. Last night, the words felt brave and confident. Today I wondered if I had made promises that I couldn’t keep. I wasn’t really going to sleep with both of them, was I? Have a threesome? I stopped dead in my tracks as I considered it.
But despite the fact that Spencer had acted into it last night, there had been something in the way he fucked me — and it couldn’t be called anything else—that told me it wasn’t as simple as brothers sharing everything. He had liked watching me with Holden. He had gotten off. But then he had taken me to his bed and claimed me repeatedly—possessively. Which one was the real Spencer? I didn’t have the courage to wait around to find out. If this was supposed to make it easier to walk away from this life and hand it to Kerrigan Belmond, it didn’t feel that way. It felt like I was actively destroying her world.
I slipped on my shoes, considering whether to write a note, but decided better of it. I didn’t bother to call for a car. I simply gathered my things and left as quickly as possible. The last thing I wanted was to face either of them. I would have to, eventually, but I knew I needed time before then. As I stepped from the lift into the private lobby, my time ran out as I came face-to-face with Holden Byrd.
“I thought you’d want some coffee. We used the last of it yesterday,” he explained, holding out a to-go cup.
I took it cautiously and stared at him, waiting for a reckoning that didn’t come.
“I didn’t poison it,” he said dryly, sipping his own to provide proof of its safety. “You’re leaving awfully early. Does Spencer know?”
I shook my head. “I needed some fresh air.”
Holden’s eyes fell to the floor, and he nodded in understanding. “Are you going to take a cab?”
“I haven’t decided,” I admitted. “Maybe. I might take the Tube.”
“Let me drive you home,” he said.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Not after what happened last night.
“Look, Spencer will kill me if he finds out I let you take a cab or the Tube. Plus, we should talk.”
“About what?” I said quickly.
He shot me