he smiled. It was the first time I’d seen a genuine smile on his face. The shadows that seemed to cloud his features lifted for a moment, allowing me my first glimpse at the man underneath.
“It’s just that I didn’t expect you to be…”
“Yes?” I prompted as we whirled past a group of onlookers who whispered as we passed.
“I didn’t expect you to be a virgin,” he admitted.
I stiffened in his arms, my eyes fluttering away from his. It wasn’t as though I had no experience with men, and I wasn’t certain why it seemed to matter so much. When it came down to it, I think I was more bothered by the fact that it seemed obvious to everyone. “Do I have a tattoo of virgin stamped on my back somewhere?”
“It was a hunch, which you just confirmed,” he admitted.
Of course, I had. There was something about Spencer that seemed to find its way under my skin. He was an itch I couldn’t scratch, and the longer he lingered, the deeper the itch burrowed into parts of me I wasn’t sure were reachable.
“I’m actually quite turned on by it,” he said.
“Really?” I craned my face back to his, unable to hide how his words made me cringe. “I don’t really see why it matters. It’s not a defining fact of my existence. Just something that is true for the moment—like being a certain age or having braces.”
Spencer’s perfect lips twitched, restraining another smile, but it danced in his eyes. “I suppose it’s leftover from some primal urge to possess and protect the female. You’ll have to forgive the primitive bits lurking in my DNA.”
“I guess I don’t understand what men find so fascinating about virgins. All I know is that I won’t enjoy my first time, it will hurt, and …” I trailed off before I could confess the truth: I was dreading it. I’d never met a man who made me want to face that rite of passage. Eliza had told me about her first time once. She’d laughed about it, but it sounded terrible to me.
“Is that what you think?” He pulled me a little closer, dipping his head so that his lips were near my ear. “I can only speak for myself, but knowing that no other man has penetrated you—been inside you—is consuming my every thought. Knowing that you saved the most intimate parts of yourself for me makes me so hard. That’s why you waited, isn’t it?”
His breath tickled across my ear lobe, sending a jolt of awareness through me. My eyes fluttered closed, and I soaked up the way he made me feel with his strong body pressed against mine, his hand holding me protectively. We continued to waltz, the music shifting to a rhythmic pulse in the background. I was dimly aware of the eyes on us even with my own closed. Each step we took, each turn we made, each word we exchanged was part of some esoteric ritual. We were binding ourselves to each other for all of London society to see, but beneath the ceremony of the moment, something else was stirring inside me.
Spencer spoke as if I’d made a conscious effort to wait for him—the man destined to marry Kerrigan Belmond for years. He had no idea that I’d never thought of him before this week, so how could he be right? Because as his question lingered in my thoughts, I kept returning to the same inexplicable answer: “Yes.”
There was a slight vibration in his chest as though the single word had roused more of that primal beast inside him. He managed to keep it locked away, but I sensed it there, hiding behind the sophisticated demeanor and expensive tuxedo. I shivered as I considered what it would be like to unlock Spencer’s cage and set him free.
“I won’t make you wait much longer,” he promised. He straightened and I missed the heat of his breath on my flesh and the closeness of his body. The music began to fade, and our pace slowed. “Kerrigan?”
My eyes snapped open to meet his green ones. They pierced through me, already penetrating me in ways I’d never experienced before.
“Don’t be scared,” he murmured, still holding me in his arms. “Your pleasure is my pleasure, and I promise you’ll enjoy every minute of it.”
I lost count of the times my fingers found themselves between my legs that night. Memories of the sensations Spencer had introduced me to kept me in a state