help Jenna had begun as a way to soothe my conscience about Laura’s role in Jenna’s problems and get my mom off my back about school, neither of those things figured into my reasoning now.
“No. I’m not going to give her up. Not until she tells me I have to.”
“Fine.” Laura turned to leave. “But for the record, I’ll say I told you so now. Because at some point, big brother, she’s going to break your heart.”
21
Jenna
Do you ever just feel like everything is falling apart? I do all the time. Whenever I get to a place where I think I've got it all figured out, something falls through the cracks of my carefully laid plans, and the whole thing crumbles.
I've been hoping, praying, it won't happen this time. Adam was solid as a rock. I knew I could count on him. He was never late, never in a bad mood, never made me feel like what we were doing wasn't the center of his attention, that I wasn't the center of attention.
And he never pushed me. Since we danced at the party, he'd been nothing but professional—except for that foot-rub at my house.
It was kind of depressing. I thought I wanted him at arm's length, but those two feet grew further away every day. Maybe I could have avoided temptation if I'd never kissed him in the first place, but I had kissed him. And every day we spent together made me want to kiss him again. And not just kiss him. I wanted to be with him—all. The. Time.
I wanted every Friday night to start with me perched behind him on his motorcycle. I wanted every movie I watched with Melly to include Adam sitting beside me, holding my hand under a blanket. I wanted good morning text messages and two hours on the phone before bed. I'd go to all of Breakout's concerts and scream at the top of my lungs when Adam walked onstage.
I could be his girlfriend—if I hadn't screwed everything up and pushed him away.
We were down to two weeks until the DIVA scholarship competition. We rehearsed every day after school for two hours and knew our performance inside and out. We were more than prepared. By now, our rehearsals were more about keeping fresh than trying to do it better because we couldn't. It was just about perfect.
But thank goodness the competition was so close now. I didn't know how many more of Adam's smolders I could take, or Tony's. I spent several hours a day trying to convince myself that the dangerous look in Adam's eye was for Maria and not Jenna. We were acting, and Adam deserved an award. I left each rehearsal aching and trembling while Adam, after making sure I'd made it to my car, walked away without a backward glance.
Hiding the way he affected me took all my energy, leaving me exhausted. So when my mom called as we were walking out to our cars after rehearsing, I answered with a short yeah?
"Oh, Jenna! You're just never going to believe it! I couldn't wait until you got home to tell you." Mom. Her voice bubbled with excitement. She hardly ever called except to ask me to do something for her, so this was new.
"Tell me what?" I asked, slowing to a snail's pace on the sidewalk outside the school. Adam matched my steps, not hiding the fact that he was eavesdropping.
I rolled my eyes and mouthed Mom. He grinned. I ordered myself not to swoon and focus instead on what my mom was saying.
"—award. There's going to be a banquet and everything. Isn't that exciting?" She'd obviously been talking while I stared at Adam.
"Wait? What award? Say that again." I turned away from the tall distraction beside me.
Mom huffed. "The mayor, Jenna! He's chosen me to receive the City of Lakeview Humanitarian Award. I didn't even know I'd been nominated!"
"Oh, wow. That's amazing. Congratulations!" I really was happy for her. She didn't help people to win any awards, but how cool to win anyway.
"Thank you! I'm just so honored. The banquet is in two weeks," she kept talking, but I'd stopped listening.
"Wait, Mom. Two weeks? That's when I perform in New York." I'd stopped walking. Everyone else had left, there were only a handful of cars in the parking lot. Adam stopped beside me, watching with a concerned expression.
"Oh, well, honey," Mom said, flustered. "Are you sure? It can't be the same weekend."
"Are you home? Look at the