broke eye contact. “I need this scholarship, and I need you to get it.”
I didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to be wrong. But Jenna was the mean girl. She’d played me, used me. Mad didn’t even begin to cover how I was feeling. But I couldn’t let her know that.
“Fine,” I said through gritted teeth.
“You won’t back out?” she asked, her chin held high.
I wanted to so bad I could cry, but I wouldn’t. I wasn’t Josh. I wouldn’t be like Laura, either. How could I have ever felt sorry for her?
“No—,” I said.
Her shoulders relaxed as she exhaled a long, slow breath.
“But—” I held up my hand, unwilling to let her have the last word. I took her by her shoulders and pulled her within kissing distance. Her breath caught, her eyes widened impossibly.
It was tempting. I’d just kissed those lips ten minutes earlier. I still felt the impression of them against my own, the taste of her lingered. Even though I knew I should have been repulsed, I wanted more.
“Don’t push me, Jenna.” I gave her a little shake with my hands still on her shoulders, just enough to get her attention. “I’ll keep my word, but no flirting. No teasing. I will not be manipulated by you. Not again. Or it’s over.” I reminded myself that there were other reasons to help her other than my desire for her, which she’d plainly used against me in my moment of weakness.
That got her attention. “Over? What do you mean? You’ll quit?”
Knowing it might be the last time for a long time, I took hold of her hips again and pulled her into my body. “Oh, no, sweetheart.” Leaning forward, I nipped at her lips. And after what she’d just done, I didn’t even feel guilty. “But, you’ll wish I had.”
Then I kissed her for real with all the anticipated frustration I knew I’d be feeling over the next few weeks. She didn’t respond right away, but when she did, I knew I’d been right. Jenna wasn’t completely immune to me, and this thing between us was far from over.
14
Jenna
I sat in my car and watched Adam ride his bike until it was out of sight before breaking down. Thankfully, the parking lot was empty, I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I had a reputation to protect. No one would believe the girl they'd nicknamed Regina George could lose her mind over a nice guy like Adam.
But I did. For five solid minutes, I sobbed into the skirt I'd taken off. It smelled like gasoline and motor oil and reminded me of Adam. Five minutes, I told myself. Five minutes to be sad about hurting the first guy I thought I could actually fall in love with, then I had to get it together. Because the next day would be our first rehearsal. Adam couldn't know how much he'd affected me. I had too much riding on the DIVA scholarship to throw it all away because of a few kisses, no matter how incredible they had been. And they were out of this world.
My stomach quivered in memory. My mouth watered in response. Even the final kiss, the one he'd given in anger, had been more passionate, more exciting than any kiss I'd ever imagined, let alone experienced myself.
Now, I'd remember every time I saw him. I'd need all my acting skills to keep him from seeing it in my face and guessing how much I wanted him to kiss me again.
Still, I'd done the right thing. I barely knew Adam! How could I trust him with the most important thing in my life right now? I had to win the DIVA scholarship, I just had to! If I didn't, I knew I'd end up living at home and going to community college. I'd still be dealing with my mom not caring about me or anything important to me. I didn't want that. More than anything else, even more than I wanted Adam, I had to get out of here and pursue my dreams. If I gave in to the feelings I experienced with Adam, I'd lose sight of that, and I couldn't let that happen.
I hadn't set out to manipulate him. I hadn't consciously done it. I'd kissed him because I wanted to kiss him. He'd been the one to accuse me of selfish motives when I told him we should keep our distance emotionally while we worked together on our performance for