Sad, but impressive. The walls were steep and they were high, but I would knock them down or die trying.
I felt my lips curve up because, yeah…clearly she wasn’t the only one with a penchant for melodrama.
“Fine,” she said. Her glance flickered toward Simone’s front door. “That’s actually why I’m here. I’m hoping Simone will help me to improve.”
Right. She was here for Simone. I mean, I could have guessed that since we were standing in front of Simone’s house, but there’d still been a little hope there that maybe my mom had told her I was here or something.
I took a deep breath. I was down but not out. I’d show her what she meant to me, and my plan started tomorrow.
“See ya around, Jax,” she said as she moved to pass me.
“Yeah. See ya.” I looked over my shoulder and watched her walk away…just like last time.
But this time?
I wasn’t going to let her go.
Not until she knew exactly how I felt about her.
19
Rose
My heart was still beating furiously as I watched Jax walk away.
The guy had swagger, I’d give him that.
And great hands. And a sexy grin. And freakin’ eyes to die for. And…
Wait, where was I going with this?
“Rose?” Simone called my name from behind me and I saw her hovering in the doorway.
“Hey!” I shook off the daze as I smiled at Simone.
“If you’re here to see Jax, he just left and—”
“No, actually, I came to see you.” I pushed the memory of Jax far, far away as I focused on what I came here to say. “Can we talk for a second?”
“Uh, sure…”
I took a deep breath, but I wasn’t going to turn back.
Last night I’d turned to the Diva Squad for advice again. Or rather, to run Simone’s feedback by them and see if they agreed. What I’d gotten was a whole lot of snark from Jenna and a wise non-answer from Layne, who’d finally checked her social media for the first time in forever. She replied with a meme of the Paul Cezanne quote, “A work of art which did not begin in emotion is not art.”
Enough said, right? She didn’t outright say it—none of them did—but it was obvious they thought Simone was right. And when I got my ego out of the way and really stopped to think about it…I knew Simone was right.
I’d gotten so good at hiding my emotions, that I wasn’t sure how to even begin to tap into them. I had a bad feeling that once I stopped covering things up, a whole freakin’ world of misery and self-doubt would be waiting for me. But if I wanted to be a great actress—and I did—then I had to face my fears for once.
And that meant no more acting in real life. No more confusing lying for acting. No more mixing up reality and fiction and trying to create a persona that didn’t exist.
From here on out, all my acting would be done on the stage. And off-stage…
Well, that was something I’d have to work out on my own. Figuring out how to be me without being ‘on’ all the time was something I needed to untangle by myself.
“Here’s the thing,” I said when Simone led me into her bedroom, which was a veritable shrine to the film industry. Posters from an eclectic array of films covered her walls. “You were right about what I need to work on with my acting,” I said when she shut the door behind me. “I’m sorry I bit your head off.”
She smiled. “That’s okay.”
“I was hoping that maybe…” I cleared my throat. “I’ve been looking for an acting coach and it turns out they are really expensive, so I thought maybe…” I arched my brows. “Would you be up for helping me?”
She blinked in surprise. “Umm…”
“I’ll pay you,” I add quickly. “I don’t have a lot, but I can definitely pay you for your time.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she said. I could tell she was thinking it over as she nibbled on her lower lip. “I’m not an expert…”
“You could have fooled me,” I joked. “And I don’t need someone who’s studied the Meisner technique. I just need someone who understands art and the creative process which…” I looked around at the film posters and the homemade art that dotted the empty spaces in between. “You clearly fit the bill.”
“I…” She bit her lip again. “I’ll try my best?”
I grinned and gave her an impulsive hug that would