a big deal. If I can avoid being alone with him until this weekend’s fundraiser is over, I should have no reason to be in the same room with him until graduation.” I set down my salad. “Easy peasy.”
Hannah continued to stare at me like I was speaking Greek.
“What?”
“Rose, do you really think avoidance and denial are going to solve this problem?”
“Problem? What problem?” I looked around pointedly. “I don’t see a problem.”
“Mmhmm.” Her tone said she did not believe me.
I sighed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She jabbed a finger a little too close to my eyes. “You have circles under your eyes.”
I gasped. “I do not.” I reached up and patted the admittedly puffy eye area. Sure, I hadn’t been sleeping, and maybe I’d caved and cried a little last night when I was remembering that kiss and feeling pathetically sorry for myself. But I’d caked on the concealer this morning to make up for it and not even my mother had called me out for looking bad. “Take it back,” I demanded.
Hannah rolled her eyes. “I’m not saying it to be mean. And there’s nothing to be so offended about. You don’t have to look perfect all the time—”
“Tell that to my mom,” I joked.
“I wish I could.” Hannah was not joking. She looked frighteningly serious. “She’s got her priorities all out of whack, but that doesn’t mean you have to.”
I couldn’t quite meet her gaze. I didn’t want to see her sympathy, or worse…think about the fact that she might have a point. “What do you know about my mom’s priorities?” I muttered.
As far as deflections went, it wasn’t my best. Hannah’s gaze turned knowing as she gave me a rueful smile. “I was there when your mom told you your best chance for success was to marry well, remember?” She shook her head with a grimace. “Your mom is not exactly Oprah when it comes to inspirational messages, and she definitely needs to get her head checked when it comes to you and your worth.”
I blinked as stupid tears pricked at my eyes because…really, that might have been the nicest thing anyone ever said to me. Also, tears seemed to be ready to go at the drop of a hat these days, which was beyond annoying. But still… “Thanks, Hannah.”
“But I still don’t think avoiding Jax is the answer to your problems.”
I frowned. And there it was. The advice I didn’t want to hear. “You think I should talk to him?”
She shrugged. “Or hit him, if that makes you feel better.”
I let out a choked laugh. “I see. Funny, I never took you for the bloodthirsty type. Off the soccer field, I mean.”
Hannah’s lips quirked up in a grin. “And I never took you for a coward.”
“Ouch.” I clutched my chest and her smile grew.
“Let me rephrase that,” she said slowly. “You’re not a coward, so stop acting like one.”
I huffed. Leave it to a best friend to be brutal. “The guy’s a jerk. I don’t see why I have to deal with him.”
“He might be a jerk, but you like him.”
I didn’t try to deny it. Jax was an egotistical, self-centered moron…but there were moments when he wasn’t. They were fleeting and few, but they were there. And it was those glimpses of the good guy underneath his jerky exterior that made it hurt to think about him.
“He’s a distraction, Hannah,” I said. “I can’t afford a distraction.”
I waited for her to argue with me, and when I looked over I knew she wanted to. But she didn’t. Instead she leaned over and gave me a hug. “Maybe distractions are kind of the point.”
I laughed as I squeezed her back. “You sound like Yoda and I have no idea what that means.”
When she pulled back her smile was small and knowing, and suddenly I felt young and stupid sitting next to her.
“Just think about it,” she said.
I nodded. But when she left, I didn’t sit there and think; I got to work. First step? Turn on the spotlight.
Was it cheesy? Maybe. But I performed best in the spotlight.
Second step? Ditch the script.
I’d been working for days to memorize this baby, and I had it. So now came the hard part—bringing it to life.
I went through the Streetcar Named Desire monologue twice before stopping to reread the thing in disgust. It wasn’t right. Or rather—the monologue was just fine. I wasn’t right.
I wasn’t nailing it.
When I heard some motion offstage, I dropped the script and peered