my belly flip at the same time my heart ached for him. That was a look I understood well.
“Depends on the time of day,” he said slowly as he opened his car door. He was around on my side and opening my door for me before I could argue that I didn’t need his help.
“Thanks. I’ll, uh…I’ll just try Hannah again.”
“No rush.” He reached for my hand and led me to the front porch, placing me on a cushioned swinging bench before joining me. The bench was too small for both of us so we were pressed together. I tried hard not to notice. But, like I’d said earlier…I was only human.
And he smelled divine.
He smelled like sweet, beautiful memories and first kisses and an incredibly brief period of time when I’d been so ridiculously, naively, giddily happy. All of that just from his scent, his warmth, the feel of him pressed against my side.
Despite the chill in the air, I was hot. My headache was still there but it was overshadowed by this dizzy, heady fog. I couldn’t quite catch my breath.
And when his hand captured mine in his, I stopped trying.
My breath caught in my chest, right alongside my rapidly racing heart.
What was happening here? This wasn’t the way this night was supposed to go.
I was supposed to be in control, and instead I was…raw.
My nerve endings felt exposed and I shivered as a breeze whipped the loose strands of hair around my face.
It wasn’t just the fact that he was holding my hands, it was all of it. The way we’d talked, the way he’d looked at me…
The way he’d seen me.
I drew in a quick gulp of air as the butterflies in my belly went buck wild, the traitorous little buggers. I didn’t know if it was nerves, or anticipation, or just plain terror. Maybe it was all of the above.
Whatever it was, it made me feel like I was losing touch with reality.
“Rose…” My name was a gentle caress on his tongue. His low voice was beautiful and gravelly and filled with some emotion I couldn’t name.
I kept my gaze fixed on our intertwined hands, like I could find the answers to this confusing mix of emotions in the way our fingers laced together.
“Rose,” he said again, but this time he reached his free hand toward me and gently tipped my chin up as he leaned in and…
He kissed me.
The kiss was soft and sweet and it made my heart ache with a million conflicting emotions. His fingers on my jaw were light, his hold gentle.
He held me like I was precious.
His lips moved over mine softly, his breath a warm breeze against my tongue as my lips parted for him as if we’d done this a million times before.
His tongue teased my lips, exploring and tasting as if this was the first time we’d ever kissed.
First kiss.
The memory of my first kiss—so perfect and so sweet—it mingled with the present moment until I didn’t know where I was or what I was doing. I was lost in the sensations, in the emotions that made a kiss feel like a life-changing event.
When he pulled back, he groaned. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”
Me too.
His words pierced the hazy dreamlike fog of perfection and romance, and all at once it came back to me.
Why I was here. Why I was with Jax. Why I’d gone to that stupid party in the first place…
I pulled back so quickly his hands fell and his eyes widened. “Rose, are you—”
“What am I doing?” I whispered it to myself on a rush of air as my heart plummeted into my stomach.
I was a fool. I was such a fool.
He’d planned this from the start. I’d heard him with my own ears less than an hour before saying that he didn’t think I had a heart.
He didn’t like me. He didn’t even respect me. He sure as heck didn’t have real feelings for me. But just now, for a little while there…
He’d fooled me into thinking this was more. That I was more.
And for that I hated him.
I met his confused gaze and felt my stomach churn with bitter disgust—but whether I was most disgusted by him or myself, I couldn’t say. “I have to go.”
“Wait, where are you going to—”
“Not your problem,” I said, my voice cold as ice, my mind finally taking control for once tonight. I snatched up my discarded phone and breathed out a sigh