to be gracious about the men in my life wanting to be gentlemen. It was rare enough these days that it needed encouragement, not discouragement. I hopped off the table with his hand in mine.
"How's Sin?"
"He is fine. Nathaniel and Micah will take turns staying with him to make certain he doesn't have a concussion."
"Good," I said, but my voice sounded distant. I squeezed his fingers, as if touching him helped the world be more solid.
He swept the curtains aside and led me out. I let him lead. I was ready to follow someone, and Jean-Claude wasn't a bad choice for it.
Nicky and Claudia fell in behind us. Nicky had a small butterfly bandage near his eye, and a bruise starting around it. "How's Ares?" I asked.
"Concussion, broken arm and leg," Nicky said.
I stopped walking, which made Jean-Claude have to stop, too. I looked at Nicky. "Ares is a special forces sniper, and you did all that in just a few minutes?"
"Like you said, he's special forces, I'm not. I had to end the fight hard and fast, or I'd be the one in the hospital."
"I'm not arguing that part, Nicky. I just..." What was I supposed to say? "It's just that Ares does better than you in sparring practice, that's all."
"That's practice, Anita. We're not allowed to hurt each other for real in the ring here, and the army doesn't like you disabling each other in practice either."
"I guess not. What's your point?"
"I'm a werelion, Anita. Ares is a werehyena. Hyenas are a rough bunch, but they don't fight each other the way lions do. It's expected that males in a pride will challenge the leaders, and they have to be put in their place, or killed."
I realized something and felt stupid for not thinking of it sooner. "I thought Payne and Jesse were away on assignment like the wererats send their mercenaries away to earn money for the group, but that's not it, is it?"
"What answer do you want?" he asked.
"The truth," I said.
He shook his head. "No, you don't. Because you'll get all self-righteous about it, and then you'll feel guilty because you made me the Rex of the St. Louis lions, and so you'll blame yourself, and me, but you'll take it out on me, and I don't want that."
"So, you killed them."
"To keep them from killing me, yeah, I killed them, but not by myself. Kelly and some of the other werelions helped me. If the majority of the dominants in the pride had sided with Payne and Jesse, then I'd be dead, but they sided with me. They thought I was a better leader, and had stronger ties to you and Jean-Claude, so the lions would be better protected."
I thought about Payne and Jesse dead. It should have meant more to me, but it didn't. I felt numb, and distant with everything. My mouth was beginning to give me small, sharp pains. The fact that I'd gone shocky and it was only now hurting meant I was really hurt.
"So, if I'd been sleeping with Payne, then they would have sided with him and killed you?"
"It's not the fucking, it's the fact that I'm your Bride, and you're fucking me. That makes me more important to you."
I nodded. "What happens if someone I'm tied to metaphysically turns out to be a bad guy?"
"They all trust you to take care of it, like you did with the old Rex before me."
I had shot the old Rex point-blank in the face after he killed one of the other werelions, and tried to kill Nathaniel. Haven hadn't been able to share me with the other men. He'd wanted me to himself, and when he couldn't have that, he'd tried to kill the men I loved. His jealousy had made him do really bad things, and in the end I'd had to kill him to keep everyone safe. It had been a fight that had gotten out of hand, sort of like this one.
I tugged on Jean-Claude's hand, squeezing his fingers. "I don't want to have another moment like with Haven, Jean-Claude."
"None of us do, ma petite."
"Asher could have really hurt Sin, Jean-Claude. It takes a lot to knock the weretigers silly with one blow."
"Devil wouldn't have been knocked for a loop," Nicky said.
I looked at him. "What do you mean?"
"Devil is a lot stronger, he's got more muscle around his neck, so the blow wouldn't have hurt him as much, and he's a more powerful wereanimal. That helps