“We have no choice, Yash.”
“Do you really think we can let each other go? Now?” How strong did she think they were?
As though she heard his thoughts, she pulled away, stepping back and putting several feet between them. The cuts on her feet made her wince. “How can you think we have a choice? If you lose the election, I’ll never forgive myself.”
He tried to get close again, but she held out her arm to stop him.
“I should be the one to decide whether or not I put my ambitions in jeopardy. That should be my choice.”
“But it’s my life. The last time around you made that choice without me. I was left questioning my feelings. My judgement of men and relationships.” She pressed her hands into her own chest. They were trembling. “I’ve always been proud of being connected to my inner voice. But I learned to mute it and I didn’t even know it. Now you want me to do that again.”
“No, I don’t. I want you to listen to it this time. I want you to be true to what we’re feeling.”
“You’re missing the point. You want me to mute the voice that is telling me that I will destroy your dreams. How will I live with myself? If I crush your family’s dreams, crush the hopes of all the people who’ve put their faith in you. Abdul almost died!”
Didn’t she think he knew that? He’d sat here all evening reliving his conversation with Abdul and Arzu. Until he’d seen her again, seen her bleeding feet, until he’d felt her hands on his scars, until he’d kissed her, he’d thought he could walk away. But there had to be another way. “We don’t know that I will lose if we’re together. We’ll tell the truth and let people decide.”
She didn’t react. Her face was set, a stubborn mask. “If you tell people that you lied about your relationship with Naina—to the world, to your family—your integrity will be destroyed. Everything you’ve ever said or done will be questioned as a lie.”
“We don’t have to tell anyone it was a lie. We’ll just announce a breakup. Half the marriages in our country end in divorce. We’re not even married.”
“If you break up with her now, after she sobbed over your fallen body, after she took on Cruz’s attacks for you, after the big deal the media has made about your unconventional love story, your credibility will still be destroyed. The media won’t buy ‘we grew apart,’ not now so close to the election. The speculation will take the focus off your issues, it will taint you. They’ll go on a witch hunt. Start digging for reasons why you broke up.” New horror creased her forehead. “Once the media circus starts, Julia might come back. If she claims you forced her to sleep with you when she was your intern, no one will believe you. Not just this election but your political career will be over.”
“So we’ll wait until after the election. We’ll leave everything as it is until then.” Even as he said the words he knew he’d made a mistake.
Her eyes dimmed with sadness and she stepped away from him. “So you’ll make the lie worse? You’ll be with me in private and pretend to be with Naina in public? You’ll start something you’ve been dreaming about most of your life with a deception this calculated? We’ll start our relationship with a lie? That’s not who I am, Yash.” She stepped close to him again and reached out but couldn’t touch him. “I might love you in ways that make me feel completely out of control, but I don’t have the hubris to believe that our love can survive that. No love can. You know what I’m saying is true.”
“India. Please. Please don’t do this. Let’s at least talk about this.” Don’t leave me.
“You wanted me to fight for you. This is me fighting for you. I’m the only thing standing between you and everything you’ve ever wanted. The only answer is for me to step out of the way.” She picked her phone up from the rock and dialed.
“What are you doing?” Yash asked.
“I’m taking us back to our real lives.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
If only India had known that a broken heart could hurt like this. Like a fractured bone ripping muscle and sinew from skin, but also not quite like that. Physical pain was localized; this was a full-bodied hug of pain. Her thoughts hurt, her breath