three days.”
I shrugged knowing nothing I said could make this sound all right. “The docs said that was more emotional healing than physical.” Apparently having your brother try to kill you fucked with your brain on many levels.
Max scoffed. “You sound as crazy as he acts, you know that, right?” I nodded. “You’re in love with her?”
“Head over heels, man.”
“Why now?”
Valid, but irrelevant at this point. “For the first time, I saw her for who she is. I saw her. She was drowning. Losing her soul under the weight of all thing Nathan, which was partly my fault.”
“You feel like you owe her? Is that it?”
“No.” I shook my head. “It has nothing to do with owing her. She makes me want to be a man worth her love. There’s so much goodness in her, so much light. I want her to live in that light.”
“I get that,” Max said. “Who wouldn’t want that for the girl they love.”
The nurse stepped in, setting a pitcher of water and a small cup on my tray. “Visiting hours are almost over.” She smiled at Max and he winked at her as she left.
“You really going to make a move on my nurse?” I laughed, waving him away. “Get out of here, man. I need my rest.”
He stood, clapping his hand with mine. “I’m happy for you and Savy. I really am.”
“Thanks, bro.” It felt good having someone rooting for us who was on our side and wanted to see us make it. “Come by the house before you head back to the west coast.”
“You know it.” He rubbed his palms together. “I’m going to go see what time that cute little nurse gets off.” He winked on his way out the door making me chuckle.
I rested against my pillows glad he’d stopped by. Sometimes having an old friend was a giant pain in the ass, but most times, it was exactly what I needed.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Savy
My parents weren’t home when Nate and I made it back to my house. They’d texted to let me know they were taking Mrs. Deacon to dinner, to help her decompress from the last few trying days. If only they knew the truth, they wouldn’t be out celebrating Jeremy’s recovery.
The worst was yet to come. Jeremy wanted to have Nate committed, and after what I’d witness in my bedroom, I agreed it was time. It’d taken everything in me to get him to let go of his brother’s neck, to stop slamming his head into the floor. Then, the way he reacted with me at the hospital yesterday, I was pretty sure was the first time he’d flipped his switch with me.
Nate was livid, catching me and Jeremy together, knowing that we’d been intimate. He hated that Jeremy loved me, and he hated even more that I loved him back. I couldn’t blame Nate for his feelings, but I could for his actions. Nate understood right from wrong, I knew he did. He understood rules and the things that could get him into trouble. He simply didn’t care.
He’d been quiet on the drive home from the hospital. He wasn’t being rude, or cruel. Pensive, and intense. Which was more terrifying. He’d been irritated when he dragged me out of Jeremy’s room, and I expected him to have more questions. Instead, I was met with silence and that made my nervous about what he was thinking.
I was exhausted and I needed some space. “I’m going to bed.” I left him by the front door, thinking it was clear that he needed to let himself out as I headed up the stairs. But when I opened my bedroom door, I realized that he was behind me. He’d silently followed me to my room. “What are you doing Nate? Go home.”
I was getting stronger every day, voicing my wants and opinions. I couldn’t help but wonder who would the two of us be if I’d started to do this years ago. Would Jeremy have even felt the need to liberate me? No. I wouldn’t have needed help in the attic. I wouldn’t’ve been swimming in the Deacon’s pool with desperation pulsing off of me. Maybe I’d have Jeremy in my life, maybe Nate would have received the help he needed. All the speculation in the world didn’t change where we were now. There was no way to know the outcome of what ifs, and time travel didn’t exist. These were the cards that were dealt, the cards I’d held in my