me, Nate dragging me out of that party the other ni—”
“I get it, baby. Nathan is your icky file.” I put my palm on her hip, my thumb caressing her skin. I hated that was the way she felt. I hated it for her and for my brother. It was sad, no matter which way you looked at it.
“He’s in my good files too, though.” She turned her head, her eyes searching mine. “Watching movies, playing in the park, swimming, camp outs, s’mores, popsicles on hot summer days. Until this summer with you, Nate was all my good memories and all my icky ones. That’s what happens when you have one friend. They become your everything good and bad. I don’t remember a time in my life when he wasn’t in it, when he wasn’t part of every day.”
I didn’t need to ask Savy the question that came to my mind, the question of whether she’d go back in time to change things if she could. I already knew the answer. She would suffer all over again to help my brother because she loved him, and she had a kind heart. She was selfless when everyone around her was the complete opposite. Or maybe not. Now that she’d had a taste of freedom, maybe she would’ve tried to expand her horizons while keeping Nathan in check. Stupid to even think about. No one got a do-over.
I studied the night sky, sad to see that the deep purple was developing edges of pink. “We need to get you home, the sun will be up soon.”
“When I was younger, I used to dream about you coming through my window and rescuing me.” Savy held my gaze. “You’d tell me to pack a bag, that we were going on an adventure.” She turned her attention back to the sleeping city below us. “I would wake up torn. In love with the fantasy and guilt ridden for wanting to leave Nate.”
“I used to have dreams of you too, but they got a little racier than that.” I reached out, trailing my fingertips through her silky hair.
“You’re a dream come true, Jeremy.”
Her words were like a zap to my soul, filling me with light. I sat up, pulling her back against my chest. “No Savy, you’re the dream.” I kissed her neck, breathing in her sweet scent. “I promise, baby, one day, I’ll get you out of here and we’ll go on all the adventures your heart can handle.”
As she relaxed in my arms, I went over the words I’d spoken to her. Had I promised Savy a future? Had I promised her forever? This summer with her started with so many boundaries, so many guidelines and expirations. But my feelings for her had grown, like they had a life and a mind of their own. I couldn’t find it in me to resist anymore.
“I’m falling in love with you,” I said the words softly and against her skin, not afraid to let them out, but wary of the wreckage they could cause.
She leaned in, her hands searching for mine in the growing light. “I think I’ve been in love with you my whole life.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Savy
Jeremy got me home minutes before sunrise, kissing me quickly and sending me back up the tree and through my bedroom window. I collapsed on my mattress, tired but too excited to sleep. Instead I daydreamed, the TV on in the background. I lay there for hours, simply happy to be alone with my thoughts, replaying the last few nights on a constant loop.
Jeremy was falling in love with me, and he’d dreamed about me like I’d dreamed about him. The boy I’d crushed on my whole life loved me back. I couldn’t stop smiling, my cheeks hurt from the effort. This summer with Jeremy was more than anything I ever saw coming. One favor for his brother, one night of helping me with a chore my dad wouldn’t let go, had turned into an actual dream come true. I felt lucky and giddy. I knew soon the guilt would rise up, like it always did, but for now, I wanted to be eighteen and in love, grinning so big my face ached.
“Savy, sweetheart, Jeremy is here, I’m sending him up.” My mom called her warning from the bottom of the stairs, which made me roll my eyes. Neither she nor my father ever gave me a heads up before seeing Nate bound up the stairs and into my room.
I